Building trust
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Tangled Web Offline
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#1
Happy  Building trust
I have been working on building my trust with our T. I have been repeatedly asking questions and taking small risks and testing her to see if she was trustworthy and actually means what she says.
Today I crossed over a HUGE hurtle and took a huge risk and it paid off!
I believe she will NOT judge me now, that is what was accomplished today. And I have a strange feeling that I have never had before, but I feel if anything comes up (conflict between her and I) I will be able to talk to her about it. That is new for me. It is weird, but I think this might actually work this time.
Tangled
"You may not remember what someone says or does, but you will never forget how they made you feel" Mac Anderson.
08-26-2014, 09:47 PM
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angel with wings Offline
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#2
RE: Building trust
I have tested my T as well, for the same reason. But for me, my T refuses to help me through these tests. often find myself at an impass an don't know what to do..so trust is hard sometimes.
I'm beautifully broken, perfectly imperfect, beautiful in my flaws, altogether I am a beautiful disaster.
08-26-2014, 10:59 PM
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Tangled Web Offline
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#3
RE: Building trust
I agree it can hard when the tests don't get a chance to run there course. The way I have tested her is by giving her a little bit and sees what she does with it and pick her brain about it trying to figure out if there is a loop hole in there somewhere. Then I give her a little more--once we are satisfied we have covered all our bases. There is a great deal of risk involved with doing this also but this time it worked out for the best. Which I must admit I am very thankful for. I don't know any other way to get past the trust issues other than to do this.
Tangled
"You may not remember what someone says or does, but you will never forget how they made you feel" Mac Anderson.
08-27-2014, 03:54 PM
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angel with wings Offline
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#4
RE: Building trust
TW, this is exactly what I do. Share a little at a time. If it gets stomped, I stop talking, trust lost. On the other hand, if it works out OK, then I continue. Sometimes I throw out something to see what happens, but when It's rejected, trust gone. Something I struggle with.
I'm beautifully broken, perfectly imperfect, beautiful in my flaws, altogether I am a beautiful disaster.
08-27-2014, 10:11 PM
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57thomas Offline
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#5
RE: Building trust
Trust is almost impossible for me, there have been very few people in my life I could really trust. And that trust can vaporize at the drop of a hat, too. I learned early on that my T was so non-judgemental that I could say ANYTHING, and once I understood that, I realized I trusted her more than just about anyone, and it didn't even take very much time. I don't know if I was incredibly lucky, or if I just needed it so bad that I was willing take the chance and find out. But now I feel more comfortable talking to her than I ever have with anyone else. And I think being able to talk to her has made a big difference in my self-confidence and ability to talk to others, too.
(This post was last modified: 08-28-2014, 03:11 PM by 57thomas.)
08-28-2014, 03:10 PM
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angel with wings Offline
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#6
RE: Building trust
57, that is great. My trust vaporizes as quick as dew on a sunny morning. My T is no different. So glad you found that special one. Glad she is a help to you. Keep up the good work.
I'm beautifully broken, perfectly imperfect, beautiful in my flaws, altogether I am a beautiful disaster.
(This post was last modified: 08-28-2014, 09:27 PM by angel with wings.)
08-28-2014, 09:26 PM
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orek Offline
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#7
Happy  RE: Building trust
(08-26-2014, 09:47 PM)Tangled Web Wrote: I have been working on building my trust with our T. I have been repeatedly asking questions and taking small risks and testing her to see if she was trustworthy and actually means what she says.
Today I crossed over a HUGE hurtle and took a huge risk and it paid off!
I believe she will NOT judge me now, that is what was accomplished today. And I have a strange feeling that I have never had before, but I feel if anything comes up (conflict between her and I) I will be able to talk to her about it. That is new for me. It is weird, but I think this might actually work this time.
Tangled

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Smile
09-07-2014, 09:44 PM
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