Family drama, they just don't understand.
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Downtherabbithole Offline
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#1
Family drama, they just don't understand.
I got a call at work yesterday, it was my dad, he'd been trying to get me on mobile. But I was working n couldn't answer so he called work no. First time he's ever called me there.
Mum n dad had spontaneous found a bedroom suite deal at spotlight n sale ended that day so they went in n checked out n decided they wanted to give it to me for combined birthday Christmas present. Which that's cool. I can't afford it at the moment. It's the comments that come with it n motives behind it.. Though I get they mean well, only compounds the feeling of being a disappointment as a person.
Things like them suggesting that I needed to grow up n get grown up furniture rather than having left over childhood furniture. I have a single day bed. It's been my bed since a kid, but in small apartment n because its had lots of history. It's like someone saying u need to upgrade your car cause its ur first car from when got licence even though it still in good condition n works well.
Last night, dad was like measuring my rooms to see what room had. All good intentions n don't get me wrong I appreciate it, but more comments of making me live like a normal person even if they had to force me. Then I'm saying I prefer bed in lounge room cause in summer can open balcony door to let air in where as the bedroom couldn't open anything as window n fly screen been busted since moved in n lets bugs in. Comments about using the bedroom for what's meant to be used for and saying hell grab keys off n come by Thursday while I'm at work with my sister n do it. Move out my gym equipment currently in room n move bed in.
It wasn't that I don't appreciate that they want to help. But he wasn't listening, I felt like he was trying to overtake how my house was n tell me how I'm supposed to live or have my house. I had a nightmare bout it all. I'm nearly 30 years old living alone, its my house shouldn't I be able to say how its arranged, I have to live here. I have to feel safe n comfortable. Forcing me to have my place a certain way that not wanting only makes the sudden transition worse because ill end up sleeping on the single day bed that isn't childish at all its just that its my childhood bed since got a bed. Well my final bed. My big brother had a bunk bed. But when he got older just took too off it. But it's just it feels like they are trying to change me, who I am. To be what they want, rather than accepting who I am n letting me find my own way. I get that they just think I'm weird or unusual n maybe a bit immature at times not acting my age as it were like when get over excited. They know some of trauma, but not this. But even if I had told them, I think it would just give them a reason to mock me or put me down, where as now its only coming out in comments when they see something that's odd. The thing is. Even if I was just unusual rather than just being a shattered self, isn't a family supposed to accept u for who u are, not make u feel like such a failure as a person. As a daughter or big sister. Already failed as a lil sister, after brother basically disowned my family due to diasagreement between sister in law n mum. I already hate myself. I don't need more reason to do so. I can't even explain why I am like I am n even if I did, it wwould not help, cause then they'll read into everything. Rather than overlooking half cause think nothing of it, knowing, they'll be like are you doing that thing again, oh that's that thing showing there ect ect. I don't need more critism n judgement, I need someone to be able to accept and love me ( in friend or family way, not other way) for who I am, not for who they wish I was.
05-13-2014, 11:40 PM
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nats Offline
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#2
RE: Family drama, they just don't understand.
sorry he wasn't able to respect your wishes. that sounds very invalidating. yes, of course you have a right to have your house and things as you choose to. he doesn't have a right to change your things just b/c he decides to give you some furniture. guess, parents often don't realise they don't own their children.
Blush Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain - E. Walsh Smile
05-14-2014, 06:06 PM
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