Living With Dark Thoughts

[MakersDozn]

Charity has been having ongoing dark thoughts for a while now. We have a system-wide agreement that none of us will act on these thoughts.

We go to T. We blog. We come here and to a few other forums for multiples. But confronting old feelings is so painful, and the pain never stops, and we can't put it into a box and deal with it later. It's always there.

We've learned that our healing involves a concerted effort by all of our bigs to work together and individually on issues. And we told our T that all five of us need to be present in session for a while. We don't all need to talk, but at least one of us does, and the rest of the five of us need to be present and willing to work.

It looks like things will be this way for a while. In the meantime, we could use some encouragement and some validation. It would mean a great deal.

Mary and others

[mosaic]

hearing you. it's really a struggle when ongoing dark thoughts go on and on. i'm glad to hear you are staying safe.

it's really difficult to work through the pain that doesn't go away. we are pulling for you and sending positive thoughts your way. we hope you can continue working together in T and that you can find some healing.

sitting with you if you would like

[Cammy]

As a long time frequent flyer to the 'Abyss' as we call it, we empathize with the difficulty working and functioning through the darkness and pain, especially when you can't find the bottom of the pit and it just seems to keep getting lower as you try to struggle upward. I have crawled out on many occasion, and so will you. In the meantime, I am sending you the warmest thoughts to help buffer against some of the pain, and a special candle that won't blow out no matter what so that you have some light to guide yourself with. Hold strong and trust in your own strength - it is there and it will help you. In the meantime our well wishes and positive feelings are wrapping you in a warm protective blanket.

[MakersDozn]

Thank you both.

The other day our T asked us if the changing daylight affected us. We said no. But as we think about it, it certainly doesn't make things any easier.

It's hard to see any metaphorical light either. I don't like the light. It shows things as they really are, which is too starkly real for me to bear.

Charity