question about email

[angel with wings]

there was a time I did that, but it no longer works, not an option. I also shut down too, nats. but I think its my others trying to communicate, I think its why i do it. part of me says stop, this isn't working. yet part of me keeps reaching out, but keep getting met with silence. I don't know what to do. im desperate to stop, I want this resolved.
because of this, and some other things going on, I have shut down, especially towards this person. I cant speak to them in a public place. I treat them as invisible. kinda like a payback. but its not payback im after, im really trying to protect myself from further hurt by them.

this person also knows my struggles, yet it doesn't seem to sway them in the least. part of me says, if they care so little for you, why are you trying so hard to connect? good question. I think its because the littles are wanting the connection. having a hard time explaining it to them that this isn't working. so don't know what to do.