The first bond
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tweeter Offline
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#1
Just talking  The first bond
I spent yesterday analyzing fallout from past events, feelings, some of which are currently healing. I realized that a gaping hole in my being was caused by my mother Never bonding with me, neither before nor after my emergence. Explains a lot. This bonding is a foundation.
tweeter
"Even the very emptiest of the emptiest
Has a false bottom, a false bottom."
04-24-2013, 02:44 AM
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nats Offline
here and there..
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#2
Friendship/Support  RE: The first bond
(04-24-2013, 02:44 AM)tweeter Wrote: ...This bonding is a foundation.

so true even science recognises it. some mum's just don't, for whatever reason.
Blush Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain - E. Walsh Smile
04-24-2013, 07:15 AM
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MakersDozn Offline
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#3
Agree  RE: The first bond
(04-24-2013, 02:44 AM)tweeter Wrote: I realized that a gaping hole in my being was caused by my mother Never bonding with me, neither before nor after my emergence. Explains a lot. This bonding is a foundation.
tweeter

Yes, tweeter, this is true. I'm sorry that you experienced this too.

Take care,

Charity Sad
04-24-2013, 06:02 PM
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tweeter Offline
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#4
Friendship/Support  RE: The first bond
Thank you nats and MDs for your kind acknowledgement of my life experience, which is head and shoulders above what I generally get in 3D (getting worse, especially as the world is at war, and in view of how the older population is treated in this country) .

More frequently, I am finding words. I've separated Myself from other's irrational or selfish expectations, manipulations and bullying, even when those patterns approach from the outside. In speaking with fm on phone today, when he started criticizing other people as bullies, I told him he had done the same to me. He bullied me on the train, depriving me, on purpose, of living my own life. He denied that, etc. He said he had reasons, more rationalization/denial. I didn't want to hear them, and somehow stopped him from continuing, without arguing. I don't need to put myself thru that anymore.

I realize that I bonded with trainman and I understand the intense dynamics of that bond. I would have been okay if not interfered with. I mean, not all growth has to begin from the bottom of a pit.

I appreciate your patience with my lengthy babbling, as I try to communicate what often defies verbalization by its very nature. Words aren't necessary for intelligent thought and action, for feelings, but they do help in the exchange of history, for instruction.

As is natural, even awareness of these epiphanies fade as the emotional dust settles. And it is settling, rather than feeling like an ebbing tide which returns as a tsunami, seemingly out of nowhere. What is left is a change, and maybe a word, less inner turbulence due to old issues. I've turned a corner. Took me long enough. Not to say that life is wonderful. I've come back to my natural self; wish the physical plant had likewise regenerated.

tweets Sno1
"Even the very emptiest of the emptiest
Has a false bottom, a false bottom."
(This post was last modified: 04-25-2013, 01:39 AM by tweeter.)
04-25-2013, 01:36 AM
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Tangled Web Offline
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#5
RE: The first bond
Hi Tweeter. I love the metaphor you used and the description is very fitting---even awareness of these epiphanies fade as the emotional dust settles. And it is settling, rather than feeling like an ebbing tide which returns as a tsunami, seemingly out of nowhere. What is left is a change, and maybe a word, less inner turbulence due to old issues. I've turned a corner.
I can relate to that feeling.
TW
"You may not remember what someone says or does, but you will never forget how they made you feel" Mac Anderson.
04-25-2013, 11:17 AM
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tweeter Offline
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#6
RE: The first bond
I'm glad for the nice effect of my vision, which seemed to lose almost nothing in translation. Not even for me.

cheerios,
tweeter
"Even the very emptiest of the emptiest
Has a false bottom, a false bottom."
04-25-2013, 11:40 PM
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