Another day of struggling

[Cammy]

It's still April 18th and I am still safe. I should be sleeping by now, but I find myself back here. It feels safe here, especially when I'm unsure and hurting. Where else is there for someone like me to go? Isolation, aloneness, feeling misunderstood...this is the sea upon which we are constantly tossed. Back and forth. One thing for certain, in the past six weeks or so I have disclosed my true nature to more people than I have in my entire lifetime, but most of it was necessary as these were care providers. The one time I confidentially revealed myself at work I almost got fired! Yep...after 25 years of doing my job they queried whether I was capable of doing my job because I was a multiple. Beware to whom you disclose yourself is for sure a deep and dire warning. Even care providers are better off not knowing if it's not necessary, unless they are familiar with it and understand it somewhat. The rest, well, they still carry around some ridiculous bad Hollywood B movie idea about DID. Whatever. I'm ranting. I really need to shut off the light and forget about today, this week, last week....