Hello...confused

[Cammy]

Hi, I'm Igraine. I was diagnosed with DID by two independent professionals about 15 years ago. Right now I'm under the care of a psychiatrist for depression and for getting me off all my meds, and he doesn't think I have DID. The people who cared for me over 20 years have identified at least six parts to my personality system, but unless I'm super stressed, I'm stable, and even if I'm not stable I am unaware of who I am at any given time. My public persona is well honed and it is a social interphase that I flip into automatically when out in the world, so the world gets a consistent stable view of what they think is me. Now I have this psychiatrist who doubts the diagnosis, and now I'm not really knowing who or what I am or what to think or feel, or if I am or am not multiple or just what it is. I guess I'm confused and frustrated. I finally accept what I am and professionals start disputing it. Now I don't know what I am. The care givers who observed me for 20 years and did all the testing must have a better picture of me than a psychiatrist who has only seen and met with 'The Public Persona' (a charming lady by the way) for only a few months. Crap, I hate it when people don't let sleeping dogs lie.

I haven't been back here for years. I guess part of my distress is realizing that this is what I will be for the rest of my life. When someone tries to invalidate all the work I've had to do just trying to,accept what I am, it's very upsetting. That's probably why I've come back here where there are others like me with similar experiences. At least here no one will try to tell me that they don't think I have DID.