Still Feeling Chaotic Inside

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Hi nats,
My last paragraph was a pip, starting with "There's a heck of a difference..." That's what happens when the words are not quite there yet. I'm also problem solving at the same time on something different. Thank you for bringing the lack of clarity to my attention. There might still be a lot lost in translation from levels of consciousness, but I gave it another try, including what is not in my experience. See if this is any clearer.
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There's a heck of a difference between refusing the influence of another person (who views you as negative because of that refusal), and seeming to really find fault with everything in life, without that specific interaction occurring.
With an adversarial relationship, there's a need to defend, often when not being sure how to do this without acting in a way that you were told is negative thinking that cannot be justified. My experience with a perfectionist parent can be included in this category. Whatever is not in agreement, is deemed negative, and negative = st*p*d.
Thing is, that being pushed into a defensive position over time can yield a more negative person, even in the individual's self image. A person's "No" becomes a survival mechanism (preservation of sense of self), which can continue as a maladaptive reflex. (This is oversimplified.)
On a more serious note, I'm wondering if a child might maintain negative verbal and nonverbal feelings towards more than one situation, and they get lumped together for the sake of trying to be safe.

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