Melody
Member
Posts: 14
Threads: 6
Joined: Jan 2013
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PLEASE UNDERSTAND !!!!!!!
GOD... one of my biggest struggles lately. Why am I like I am? I am triggered everytime I just HEAR the word g@d. I've tried to get over it but the word g@d was used in a large part of my abuse. I desperately want to believe in a kind, loving being but it is hard. My husband is not satisfied with me just saying a higher power. He knows about my abuse and I have told him many times how I feel about that word. It triggers me so badly and I get extremely angry and switch. Is he unable to see how bad it affects me??? I know he's sensitive about my triggers and he's a good man so I just don't understand. Feedback anyone?
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02-05-2013, 01:20 PM |
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nats
here and there..
Posts: 1,760
Threads: 89
Joined: Dec 2011
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RE: PLEASE UNDERSTAND !!!!!!!
we've always thought, and this is a tangent b/c we weren't raised in a formal church, that god gets blamed for a lot of things. when we read the bible, we didn't see god promising anywhere to give people happy lives, it was more about giving them greater understanding and forbearance for all the bad things that happened to them. Then, looking at Job, he was tormented intentionally just to prove a point. so, it seems that its people who promise god will act like a loving father, not god who ever made this promise.
perhaps we've misinterpreted, or more likely it says something about how we were raised, but it seems like god as with everyone else, is only obliged to answer the prayers he wants to.
Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain - E. Walsh
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03-10-2013, 06:46 AM |
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finlyalive
Member
Posts: 53
Threads: 6
Joined: May 2013
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RE: PLEASE UNDERSTAND !!!!!!!
When we were first diagnosed, the pastor of the church told me that I was possessed by demons. That was comforting -- NOT. We worked with our therapist to get through this, but stopped before ever really dealing with anything. The fear of being possessed was greater than the desire to heal. It seems every time we try to work on healing, horrible things happen. The past three years are no exception. We haven't given up at this point, but everything we have ever had has been taken from us. Being brought up in church, turning to G@D is almost second nature and, personally, seems to be the only way out of our current situation. It is the only string of hope there is, no matter how thin. One of my people does the church thing and I think she is the only reason we have gotten to where we are. At the same time, the fear becomes overwhelming. What if.....? So, we have just accepted things as they are and try so hard not to rock the boat.
Religion was never used as a form of ab*se except possibly from that pastor. It is still scary, though. Igraine has a wonderful idea with using an alternate word.
Fin
Only as high as I reach, can I grow.
Only as far as I seek, can I go.
Only as deep as I look, can I see.
Only as much as I dream, can I be.
--Karen Ravn
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05-23-2013, 01:40 PM |
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