Grieving a Lost Childhood

[MakersDozn]

(10-11-2012, 06:13 PM)mosaic Wrote: we used to go round and round and round on this with our t when we were in colorado.

the hard reality is that it is never possible to go back and get what we didn't get the first time. and to a degree, that hole will always be there...

we want to tell you it's possible to learn to do what wasn't done for you, but fear what we've written doesn't communicate that.

are you able to imagine what nurture would have looked like? what you would like to have experienced?

Thanks, mosaic. You've communicated very well. We agree with you on a rational level, but the emotional aspect of all of this is hard for us to process.

What we needed was bonding with the mother. She didn't bond with her own mother, so she had no basis for bonding with us. Some people experience this and end up doing just fine in life, but we're not like that.

So on a certain level we continue to experience life from the emotional perspective of an emotionally neglected, very young child. We don't have the tools to give ourselves what others should have given us. It has to come from someone else before we can take the reins in the process. Maybe not in the form that it should have come originally, but in some form.

Hoping that we can continue to talk about this here.

Various MDs