Send this to people who think they can 'fix you.'
Author Message
The People Online
Long Time Member Who grew Up Here
*****

Posts: 2,866
Threads: 1,019
Joined: Jun 2012
#1
Send this to people who think they can 'fix you.'
Don’t assume you know what’s going on in someone’s life or head, happens to anyone.

Who will be my 5? ??

Clinically diagnosed anxiety is not just being a bit worried, you can't just "chill out a bit" or "get over it". It eats into your well being, your confidence, your health and your life and it is 24/7. When someone cancels, or ducks out, or makes a pathetic excuse please understand that it isn't personal, it isn't laziness, it isn't being rude. It's because they can't physically do it. When someone needs supporting/encouraging/ hand holding it isn't pathetic, it isn't attention seeking, it isn't childish - it's because they are desperate to beat it but can't do it alone.

"Anxiety sucks, being isolated and believing your friends don't care sucks even more ??.
How many of you have had a night out planned, or arranged coffee or a beer with friends and suddenly the 4 walls you inhabit seem the only safe haven because it's the only place you don't have to pretend you are ok, so you cancel.

Or when you are invited out you tell them how terribly sorry you are, but you're already booked up that weekend, when you are actually just really busy holding it together in your safe box.

So the first problem starts, all by itself.

People stop asking you and the isolation that at first wasn't true becomes your only truth.
Please don't give up on your friends. Ring them if they don't reply to a message. They really do want to talk, they just don't know how to say it some days.

And in work every passing comment is a negative, you constantly do more to get over the feeling you are not good enough. The exhaustion from not sleeping because you panic all night over what you cannot influence means you make mistakes, you live in a fog and it is a vicious circle.

I'm going to make a bet, without being pessimistic, that out of my Facebook friends that less than 5 will take the time to put this on their wall to help raise awareness of and for those who have mental health difficulties. You just have to copy it from my wall and paste it to yours.


Attached Files Image(s)
   
I Am My Only Chance For A Hero!
(This post was last modified: 06-18-2020, 03:34 AM by The People.)
06-18-2020, 03:33 AM
Find Reply
The People Online
Long Time Member Who grew Up Here
*****

Posts: 2,866
Threads: 1,019
Joined: Jun 2012
#2
RE: Send this to people who think they can 'fix you.'
That is a dream catcher in case you don't recognize it. I was told that the ones that work best are the ones that are gifts.
I Am My Only Chance For A Hero!
06-18-2020, 03:37 AM
Find Reply
phoenix22 Offline
Member
*****

Posts: 35
Threads: 2
Joined: Sep 2019
#3
RE: Send this to people who think they can 'fix you.'
I have had severe agoraphobia all of my life...can remember being around 10 when I was first struck down with fear..so know how easy it is to put off going out,to tell people I'm busy rather than admit anything is actually wrong..and know too how it eats away at you,becomes your normal even as you know its not.
I hid the phobia all through childhood ( mother was an absolute nightmare re any kind of perceived "weakness") and also know the sheer exhaustion this can bring to a person..the tiredness of putting on the correct mask to hide how I felt.
For at least 2 decades I lived life as a hermit ..even when my children were born I rarely went out although made sure they had days out with my then husband .I hid the phobia so well it became difficult to even admit it to my self.
I did have CBT therapy for it but as it was due to severe trauma that I at that time had no knowledge about I failed to recover and the failure just added to my sense of personal failure...so inward I went..
Speaking solely for me I know my inability to vocalise my problems have probably contributed to the loss of friends etc but even as I write this I do wonder how they couldn't see through this whilst I could always understand their worries etc.
Maybe people are just self absorbed or selfish?
The dream catcher is lovely
06-18-2020, 09:15 AM
Find Reply
mosaic Offline
just another one of us
*****

Posts: 1,104
Threads: 130
Joined: Dec 2011
#4
RE: Send this to people who think they can 'fix you.'
i have been fortunate that i haven't had this kind of intense anxiety. for me it was depression that kept me in. i never really had friends invite me to things so i cannot say i know the experience of turning down invites ...

i do remember during one of my depressive episodes, years ago (like in the mid 1980's) two ladies from church came over and didn't invite me, they just "took" me to see a movie with them. and i remember telling my T about it and crying because i felt pain instead of pleasure.

not sure if that makes sense, but there it is.
06-18-2020, 09:41 AM
Find Reply
The People Online
Long Time Member Who grew Up Here
*****

Posts: 2,866
Threads: 1,019
Joined: Jun 2012
#5
RE: Send this to people who think they can 'fix you.'
I am actually an extrovert with social anxiety. It doesn't work well at all!
I Am My Only Chance For A Hero!
06-25-2020, 03:30 AM
Find Reply


Forum Jump: