anyone else having a

[The People]

f*ck the season?? I started on Christmas Day of Grade 1 when I had my first panic attack. Jr High, telling my younger sister how I felt. "Christmas is supposed to be merry but I don't feel very merry."She didn't know what to say.

I have been working on my book but had to stop. I had a poem in my head last night. I couldn't even type.

The only thing that makes me feel good is giving. I had a bunch of freebies tonight. There was a woman pushing a cart that was decorated for Christmas. I had just picked up some stuff and I stopped and gave them a tin of cookies.

"That is very generous. Merry Christmas" they called out (2 men were near her.) "THat is what the season is for" I called back. it was an impulsive move but the best one of the night.