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RE: Newbie Loved One With Probable DID - KoalaGirl - 08-26-2017, 02:47 PM
Newbie Loved One With Probable DID
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RE: Newbie Loved One With Probable DID
I'm sorry it took me so long to reply to this. I wanted to let you know how helpful it was and how it made me feel so much better having read your response.

Part of the reason I didn't respond sooner was all the ups and downs with Tex these past few months. Some of it was horrible; some beautiful. He would reach out to me, then chase me away; tell me I was amazing and the most caring woman he's ever known, then call me a lying, cheating wh*re and shut me out.

I'm more convinced than ever that he has DID. I can see the switches, even when we're not in person. I can identify the changes based on language, word choice, speed of replies...our personal references suddenly not picked up on.

These were all things I saw from early on but really didn't understand full until after we spent in-person time together. I also went back and saw on one of the video messages we exchanged. I remember at the time thinking, "that was abrupt". Now it makes sense. He's one of the most articulate people I know - a writer with a gift for using colorful, descriptive, meaningful language, but the man said "cool" five times in one sentence to describe arranging another visit. (I recognize him now as one of possibly two teenage alters, I believe, or else one who is prone to going from giddy to tantrum-y in short order.) He was looking around everywhere but the camera, slacked posture. Then abruptly he sat bolt upright, looked right at the camera, dropped is voice a register, and said directly that he loved & missed me.

The last time we messaged each other, he was so open and emotive, so introspective...perhaps to a degree that he felt too vulnerable. I believe he may be in therapy or at least using self-help techniques to stay focused and not pick fights or start falling back into accusations, which I know is his defense mechanism to push me away.

But all of a sudden one night, out of nowhere, there was this accusation about some guy he's convinced I'm carrying on with (which I absolutely am not). He started getting combative and, frankly, arguing like a teenager. Then it struck me. He said (paraphrasing), "why shouldn't I think something's going on? The last time we were together, you just started talking about this guy out of the blue, and you were still going on about him when I leaned in to kiss you."

That was one of two exact moments I was already sure I'd identified a switch. The other was maybe 15 minutes before when he was confronted with a discrepancy about the timing of an event (creation of a strange twitter account) that I'm fairly sure was done by an alter. It was irrefutable fact of the timing. He stammered, "no...", then blinked a lot, got sort of confused and mumbly, then switched to what I call cop mode, complete with the kind of switch in demeanor I described above with the video. This guy is definitely a Protector, and he admitted that his philosophy is you pull out whatever tools are at hand to survive, even if they aren't fair.

And then after a few minutes, the cop started interrogating me...about this "other guy". *That* was why I was talking about the "other guy". Not because I was just bringing him up out of the blue, but because Cop Tex grilled me about him. I was all self conscious because he was clearly interrogating me, and I looked away, then felt the need to clarify that I was intimidated - not because I was guilty but because he was grilling me. He said nothing, so I looked up. He was sitting there, smiling gleefully, almost giddily. I remember laughing and saying, "what?" For a second I thought the interrogation had been a prank.

Tex just leaned in and kissed me. His eyes - they did this thing that I've only seen in a couple of pictures of him when he was a teenager, where he smiled and these muscles around the eyes contracted a certain way. It was so beautiful. I remember watching the change in coloration under his eyes, like a change in bloodflow.

And here he was, arguing like a much-less mature person, insisting that when we were together, I had started talking about some other guy, then he leaned in to kiss me and I shut up. And to him, that's the truth, the reality. He stepped in at that moment. The teenager came out right then.

Holy crap, I just realized one of the triggers. It was indirect and inferred on his part...a misunderstanding about a person's profession. A guidance counselor...I wonder if that's...relevant...to his situation.

I'm not pushing him. But I am compiling some articles and blog postings from a woman who has DID and is an advocate, as well as a couple of books - "My Fractured Mind by Robert Oxnam" and "So You've Got Parts". As well as a letter to assure him I am here for him and support him because I know he's confused and scared and frustrated.
08-26-2017, 02:47 PM
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RE: Newbie Loved One With Probable DID - KoalaGirl - 08-26-2017, 02:47 PM

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