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RE: Newbie Loved One With Probable DID - Cammy - 02-01-2017, 03:25 AM
Newbie Loved One With Probable DID
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Cammy Offline
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RE: Newbie Loved One With Probable DID
DID is extremely frustrating and complicated for the person who has it. It takes that person a long time to come to terms with the diagnosis. After I was diagnosed, I bolted out of the therapist's office and it took two years of observing myself to come to the conclusion that the tests and observations of the therapist and my family doctor were correct. It is not something that anyone could have "made me" see, but a realization that had to be made little by little...only as much as my own mind could handle the trauma of the truth about me.

My husband has DID as well. He learned it first from me, and then from my therapist. For him, the knowing was a great relief of finally being able to put a name to what he had been experiencing, but still he does not have a great deal of control over the baser and more volatile personalities within him.

From your description, I would say that it is a pretty good bet that your love does have DID. What you are describing is far too complicated for anything as simple as a mood swing or bipolar disorder. If it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck . . . well, you know the rest.

As to what you can do at this point? Well, very little, really. If he is in denial, there is just not a lot that is going to influence him to accept a diagnosis or seek professional diagnosis at this point. But you have planted the seed in him, and this seed may well start working its way through him in terms of him beginning to question himself and starting to watch himself from the inside out. There is no way to accelerate this process, and in fact trying to do so will be met with resistance, resentment, and outright denial. His acceptance, if it happens at all, may take years. He seems not ready to believe this about himself at this point, whereas my husband was quite ready for an explanation of a lifetime of "incidents". You might even try sending him a readable text on someone else's story of their DID journey. He might even read it and start relating to it. There are a few of them out there if you go to Amazon, but the only one that sticks out in my mind right now is "First Person Plural". This book is written by a PHD in psychology who outlines his journey through DID and his struggles with this disorder. Perhaps your friend will relate to the fact that this is a functioning intelligent professional who has this disorder. The book might be acceptable, or he might just throw it aside depending on how receptive he is right now (and he doesn't sound overly receptive).

I am sorry that I do not have more to offer you in way of advice, other than to seek out counselling for your own edification. Make sure if you take this route that you seek out someone with trauma therapy background. There is also an Institute for Trauma disorders (or something like that). Just google "Institute Trauma Disorders" and it will list one or two. I wish I could remember the exact name, but something like ISSD rings a bell. At any rate, they have excellent support material for people who are close to people with trauma disorders like PTSD and DID. It might give you some excellent resources.

I wish you luck with this, and please, drop by and write any time you feel you need to understand or want support. We are a very close and empathetic community of people here and you will find us most welcoming and supportive.

Remember to take care of yourself through all this turmoil - if you need counselling, please seek it out.

My thoughts are with you as you press forward with this perplexing situation.
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02-01-2017, 03:25 AM
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RE: Newbie Loved One With Probable DID - Cammy - 02-01-2017, 03:25 AM

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