Family

[The People]

We are where you are. After years we touched base with a few family this year through facebook. The next generation is obviously brainwashed that the old man was sick! We too struggle through the holidays. F Day was harder this year because a new memory that we haven't processed popped up.

We go through long periods of feeling very much alone. It is why we ended up back on meds. We have decided that it is out of our hands. Whether it is sp or whatever we don't have to deal with it. People preach that we have to forgive. I just say "Let Go". It doesn't always work but it is better.

The siblings are easier although I don't say they were right. We were all raised in the same zoo and were taught that the boys could do what they wanted. The sisters could torment us and we never healed the bruises. But none of them had it good. Life in our house was a Friday night movie.

As for having kids we prayed for a child but don't think we could have had any once we reached an age where we were more stable. Health stuff. I talked about foster parenting but have been discouraged from this. And I have met some of these kids. They aren't the nice ones we see in movies. And some kids who were nice got lost in the system.

We volunteer. Having trouble finding a good fit right now but we do little things on the side. We bought a panhandler McDonalds the other day when we ourselves were having a bad day. We never give money. But Spending $3 helped us to feel human. We do other things too. The big thing is that it takes our mind off ourselves.