I understand but it still hurts
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The People Offline
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#1
I understand but it still hurts
I always tell people it is ok. That family should come first always. But sometimes it really hurts.

I have friends who live here and have been friends with me since before 2 of 3 kids were born. They left and came back. Youngest son is taking a gap year and working at a ski hill. Parents go down a lot to spend a night or weekend with him. I pet sit which I mostly enjoy.

No offer when I told of my move. I wrote on FB today about my feeling overwhelmed. She posted that she was sorry they aren't available to help. A few hours later pictures were posted. They have gone skiing with son.

Mom is really struggling with move back here plus empty nest. So I understand. But it still hurts. And as usual I don't know how to deal with it. Instinct tells me to avoid them for a while. She offered to help me unpack and I said I would rather do it myself. I really to prefer that as things end up where I want them to be. And aside from clothes and books it is not as if I have a lot of stuff. Still I have to rely on strangers and hire a cube van to move 10 blocks while people I help all the time are off having fun.

They don't understand what it is like to have nobody.
I Am My Only Chance For A Hero!
01-31-2016, 01:47 AM
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nats Offline
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#2
RE: I understand but it still hurts
trading favours tends to work when it's like for like or similar. since they are too busy to help you when you need them (and we can understand they want to spend time with son), perhaps instead suggest they could contribute some kind of financial donation next time you apartment sit. they can't be too poor if they can go skiing regularly. just thinking..
Blush Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain - E. Walsh Smile
01-31-2016, 05:57 PM
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The People Offline
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#3
RE: I understand but it still hurts
Due to unique circumstances I have a hard time asking for money. They have given me money but not nearly what they should be paying. However, due to unique circumstances I cannot ask people for money. I left it up to her to decide what I am worth and I guess they don't think I am worth much. They may have found out just how much because they would have found out how much it costs to board a dog this weekend.

But eve their Christmas gifts sucked. Booze, candy and a few trinkets. I don't consider booze to be a Christmas gift. Yes they spent a lot but I would have preferred to have cash. And son came home with them which is why they went down.
I Am My Only Chance For A Hero!
02-01-2016, 03:09 PM
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nats Offline
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#4
RE: I understand but it still hurts
hmm, asking for money can be hard in the best of circumstances and some people, once they've paid anything - even small, kind of assume that no further exchanges are required. been on both sides of that kind of interaction and it's always awkward.
Blush Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain - E. Walsh Smile
02-01-2016, 05:35 PM
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The People Offline
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#5
RE: I understand but it still hurts
She dd ask if I wanted help with unpacking but I said no. o be honest, with a small place like mine I like t put things where I think they belong. Not relying on others. And especially don't like them unpacking undies etc.
I Am My Only Chance For A Hero!
02-02-2016, 12:45 AM
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nats Offline
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#6
RE: I understand but it still hurts
agreed. can't imagine how help unpacking would be useful to anyone - it's the packing/carrying that needs extra people!
Blush Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain - E. Walsh Smile
02-02-2016, 04:17 AM
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