Author Message
The People Offline
Long Time Member Who grew Up Here

Posts: 2,869
Threads: 1,021
Joined: Jun 2012
Sad  WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why is it that everything I do has to turn into a power struggle where I lose?

The national track and field events are being held this week. 4 days. I like to watch track so I volunteered, stating from day one that we wanted to be doing things down on the field. Actually KA wanted to fire the starters pistol but was declined. Well Wednesday we helped with registration but got free lunch and talked to a lot of people. Yesterday we worked the javelin throw for people who have physical challenges.

Fascinating to observe this. We were supposed to get the rest of the schedule this week.

As I walked back I learned that I was not supposed to be there. I as stopped by a woman before I went upstairs to check I and she led me out to the field. Afterward I told her it had been decided that they didn't need me there. She was bringing me to another area but before she got up she leaned over to whisper something to the other girl at the table. Yes I am paranoid but that doesn't mean she wasn't talking about me.

One of the women in charge asked if there were people who were willing to be floaters. Now to me a floater is someone who goes from spot to spot as needed. However, as soon as I said I would she put me into the most boring job in the whole thing. Standing in the volunteers lounge as people help themselves to food.

That is not floating. That is f*ck*ng boring. I had already stated that I would do one day with a bit of reluctance but it was indicated that they were needed. I have done my time volunteering to stand behind a counter and doing nothing. It reminds me of when I had to work a bingo canteen when I was a kid, Unless someone wanted smokes or a Pepsi I just sat and read my book. Invisible. But I got paid for that.

Last night I stated over and over that I didn't want to do the 2 extra shifts. The woman browbeat me until I agreed. Last night.

I have just emailed her and stated that I would show up for tonight's shift but then I was done. No response yet. But I volunteered to have some fun. It was good for me to be outside for hours on end and interacting with people. Felling normal.

I have to pay $3 each way to get there. When I was going to be having fun I was okay with that. But f*ck it. I cannot afford to pay to be miserable. I can be miserable for free. Which has been happening a lot lately.

But why does everything I try to do backfire? I volunteered at a pre-school and was going to continue in the fall. But they treated me like they didn't even want me there, except for the kids. The kids need extra direction so there was a lot of push to get colouring pages finished before play time. Every time I spoke to a child this snit who was barely 20 would speak over me to the same child. I banned one boy from the slides for kicking and she pulled him onto her knee. I wrote a long letter to the VC, explaining what happened and stating that I wouldn't be back. She did call and stated that she would pass on the messages. Apologized.

But why the f*ck is it so hard to find a volunteer position where I feel valued? Where I am not treated like a second class citizen.
I Am My Only Chance For A Hero!
07-03-2015, 12:43 PM
Find Reply

Forum Jump: