Doctors and parents

[The People]

The other night I was having trouble sleeping. As I lay there I thought about the frustration I felt over something medical this week. Of course this led to a long train of thoughts about so many mistakes doctors have made in my life. I get soooooo angry and they cannot figure out why? Why I get mad at them. Why I am still mad at the doctors who mis-dxd me for 30 years before I figured out on my own that I had celiac disease.

Now I have a heart thing. The one that, if left untreated can lead to a stroke. I was dxd with that in my 30s but it was not taken seriously. Nothing was because I am crazy. The pills cause weight gain so the doctor sends me.... weight gain caused by drugs cannot be gotten rid of through diet and exercise. I have photos of me before I got on the drug train. Except for my bloated stomach from Celiac I didn't have an inch of fat anywhere.

Suddenly something struck me. I get so angry because doctors are like my parents. They have a role to play in my care. I do too but they keep messing up. I am quite sure that the heart things was exacerbated because I had a virus last year. My legs swelled up like balloons and the doctor thought I had arthritis there was so much pain. The pain is gone now. The swelling is gone. But the f*ck*ng pills stay because the damage is done.