Length of dx

[nats]

i can identify with a lot of what you're saying - from having ever fewer friends to no one here listening anymore either. never thought about it in terms of damage being so early etc that it wasn't reparable. had always assumed till perhaps the last couple of years that everything is repairable if we would just put more, or the right kind of, effort in. what you're talking about reaffirms the conclusion we've come to that some things just don't get fixed, healing has its limits.

so, if we've gone as far as we can (even if it never feels like enough) in addressing the past the question becomes. what do we want to do/be now we've grown up? what are we interested in/what do we enjoy doing that we can do despite our emotional restrictions? what is worthwhile for us? for us right now, it's publishing and creating a body of work that exists because of our efforts. we don't tell our story, but we tell about issues that resonate with us. it isn't huge, we'll never get lots of money or recognition, but it still feels worthwhile so that is what we've chosen to focus on for now. everyone can find their own way to feel like they contribute and make a difference in this world - otherwise, it's too easy to feel like a waste. i know you know all this already. your post just encouraged us to respond.