Accusation that has stabbed us in the heart

[orek]

That is an awful and hurtful accusation, indeed. People can be funny about money. I've had a brother accuse me of taking advantage of our mother, using her ATM card as a personal cash machine, which I never ever have done nor would do--quite the opposite! But also consider that sometimes with old people dementia or other disease can affect their brains and personality. My closest friend's grandmother got paranoid and suspicious in her last days and changed her will to give everything to her great-grandkids and bypass her grandkids altogether. There was no reasonable explanation to do so, but liver disease (or something like that, can't recall now) started affecting her personality and thinking structures. I don't know if anything like that is in play with this couple, but it's highly possible it is with at least one of them.

I like nat suggestion of talking to them about it. Put it back on them and don't take it on your shoulders. whatever the dynamics at play in their minds, it is something to do with them, not you. It's good that you all are so giving, even though people can bite you in the butt and hurt you sometimes.