Anger

[Tangled Web]

I have a problem that continues to bother me and upsets me to no end. I have been fighting the urge to call our T and give her a piece of my mind. I am SO angry.
Recently we had an aunt die. We were not close to this aunt. We chose NOT to go to the funeral because the mother would be there and it was something we just didn’t want have to deal with. Didn’t want to get “sucked back in” to that world again.
One of the “others” inside was very angry about this. She wants to get back in touch with the mother and wanted to see her again. She wrote this nasty email to our T about me. She didn’t do it because she was reaching out to the T or because she wanted to talk to her about her feelings. She did it to damage our relationship with her. She is playing her……..and because our T is who she is---she thinks it was good for her to email and wants to open up a dialogue with her.
But that is NOT what I am angry about. Well I am angry about the things that were said about me in the email but I am MORE angry about that fact that our T didn’t defend me. It hit a very raw nerve inside. One that I can’t seem to explain very well with words.
Now I am not saying our T doesn’t have her reasons for doing what she is doing…………………
I don’t really care about the reasons. What I care about is that once again I feel that I am being put in a position that I have defend myself. That I have to explain the “whys” and justify my actions. That pisses me off. Why can’t I just be taken at my word? And why doesn’t anyone try to defend me and believe me? It feels that history is repeating itself ONCE AGIAN! And I know I should be able to separate this from the past but I can’t. It is too similar and it’s NOT FAIR! It pisses me off this has become MORE about how this other person feels than how it has made me feel. Like it was ok for her to do what she did and now I am supposed to be the one to try to help HER and resolve this! Well I feel like telling them ALL to just go to HELL!
Emma

[nats]

there is nothing wrong with dialogue. it doesn't make you wrong or forced to defend yourself. it just provides more openness about all viewpoints.

[Tangled Web]

I didn't have a problem with my T wanting to have a dialogue with the other person. She didn't do it to start a dialogue with my T she did it to cause conflict and manipulate her. I sorted it all out yesterday. There was a good thing that came from all this--My T has a better understanding now how difficult things can be for me. She told me she knows it has always been difficult but now understands just how difficult it really is. That doesn't right but we were able to resolve it and it turned out good.

[nats]

that sounds positive anyway. hope you can keep talking.

[The People]

I ma glad you worked things out. And lad you dug in your heels if that is what you needed.

[The People]

I am glad you worked things out. And glad you dug in your heels if that is what you needed.