melt down

[Tangled Web]

Well yesterday was an awful day. We had a big meltdown. Just not handling things as well lately. I thought my head was actually going to explode off my shoulders. My son came over for the night. He is going to be moving into his own place with supports in place. It is called community living. When he turned 18 last year I was given some money in trust for him to be used to help him set himself up into a apartment. Well he demanded I give him 300 dollars out of that money so he could go and buy weed. Of course I said no and he wants to have this huge party at his new place when he moves. So he completely loses on it me because I say no. We argue and then I get really angry again. You mix that anger with the anger that was already there from the sh*t going on with the mother............things got crazy. I don't understand why it always has to be so hard to do the right thing. That is how it feels. I almost gave him all the money and just said f*ck it but I didn't. I felt like I was revolving door and people were flying out all over all the place. I couldn't stop it. Complete loss off control. I would find myself sobbing or screaming and pacing or shaking. Words were flying out so fast........ He wouldn't leave me alone. I would close my door to my bedroom and stay in there so I could get it together and he would keep coming in my room. I couldn't get control, I couldn't shut down. My son thought I completely lost my mind also. He told me he thought I was going crazy. It has never happened this bad around my son. Usually I can keep it somewhat together or if I start to lose it I can get control of it somehow. Not yesterday.......

Today is a new day I feel so tired. I have completely shut down now. It just didn't come soon enough yesterday. Man things are such a mess. Thanks for listening.

[tweeter]

From one shut down person to another..... I'm a monomind and I know there are differences, as well as the commonality of being human. But, I've had it too, and haven't been around much.

When is your son due to depart?
The second question is that I believe it's necessary for you to acquire maybe bank management to take over the administration of your son's trust, so that you will not be abused further. I don't know how these things are arranged. If he has a social worker, maybe they have a way of taking care of this, cause you need out. Your boundaries are not being respected, and he's out of control. It's doing you harm. You seem like a very nice person.

take good care,
tweeter

[nats]

totally understandable triggers for a meltdown. if no one quite knows what to do and keeps cycling through, then the best you can hope for is some time alone to let things settle - when that's not respected.....

perhaps the toughest boundaries to set up and maintain are those with your children.. would agree with trying something like tweeter suggested, e.g. an account that can only be accessed at certain times etc - anything to ensure he can't just come storming to you for money for something ridiculous.

[Tangled Web]

My son does not live with me tweeter. He lives in a group home. He moves into his apartment on June 2nd. The account I have doesn't have a lot of money in it and it will be gone as soon as he moves to buy the things he needs for his apartment. Just have to survive until June 2nd. 6 days and counting. I don't see him again until after he moves, so this last weekend will be the last argument regarding that money. He just compounded everything that was going on and things escalated to whole new level for me.
Work has been hell and more demands have been placed on me to the point I feel like I am going to snap, the issues with the "mother" and then his outburst on me...........it was a complete meltdown. I have never remembered experiencing anything like that before. It was a complete loss of control for me. Scared the hell out of me. But things are better now. I am more in control.
Thanks for your support.
TW

[tweeter]

Hi, I appreciate the clarification. But, more important, that you feel better. I was fit for birdseed when I wrote to you.

live long and prosper,
tweeter