comment on forgiveness..

[Tangled Web]

What purpose do you think the conditions for forgiveness serve? I'm not talking about tit for tat. It's based on what I need. Those needs are not negotiable under serious circumstances. It's not an ultimatum. It has to do with my emotional and/or physical safety.

Hi Tweeter. I am not sure I understand your question the way it was intended so I am just going to answer by my own interpretation. I think I understand what you are asking now……
I don’t think conditions on forgiveness has a purpose. I think forgiveness is solely based on the person doing the forgiving. I agree it is based on your own needs. Conditions might be placed on the relationship you have the person whether or not you choose to keep them in your life or at what level they are involved in your life. I am not talking about tit for tat either, that to me is a game people play and isn’t useful. I guess for me forgiveness is setting yourself free from all things attached to whatever you have to forgive, that includes your feelings. For instance, I once had this best friend. We are no longer friends. I had a lot of things to process regarding our friendship and the falling out that happened. Now she is just a person who lives in the same world I do. I do not wish her ill will anymore or hate her. She means nothing to me. Now I am talking in the singular here, there are others that feel much differently inside. But that is what I think forgiveness is and conditions have no place there. That forgiveness wasn’t based on anything to do with her. It didn’t depend on whether or not she did it again. It didn’t depend on her changing anything about herself. It depended on me and my feelings and what I wanted to do about it.
I agree we can agree to disagree. I liked the conversation. Thanks 