Drinking n don't know why
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Downtherabbithole Offline
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#1
Drinking n don't know why
I was so freaked before I saw therapist yesterday, I even had to get a bottle of vodka n juice to mix with it n have a drink before left to calm down so I didn't pull out. I was shutting down n I couldn't do it there, but he triggered a memory n a part... Then another part came out. Since I came home Ive had drink after drink. Since yesterday afternoon I think I've nearly drunk half the vodka bottle. N its not a small one. Make me sleep better I guess but I had gone a long time without really drinking except special occasions, now its been nearly two days of constant. I don't know how many. Is it the memory of what happened what triggering drinking again. It feels like more than just yesterday since that meeting, like weird I guess maybe just done lots if things since then it feels like more time has passed. Whether not having much food in house so not much else to do but drink or if its hiding from uncomfortable memories or drowning out the others or drowning out the memories it's like someone cracked open a door n darkness flowed out a little like some one brush some sand away from something buried and need to bury it again. I'm alone, I never thought much bout it cause often was alone when drinking, I guess safer but ppl used to tell me drinking alone wasn't good. Is it just that you loose track of how much you drink or that u can get too much in your own head and need someone to help you come out of yourself. I don't know, but though in a way I don't think much of it another part of me is a lil concerned that gone from not really drinking for long time to drinking constantly through past day and half all of a sudden. Is this something that will continue or will it settle out. There are so many so much stuff inside like its creeping its way to the surface but that scares me. Like I don't know what's going to happen. I don't want to loose control. I can't I just can't. It's like a storm is approaching n I'm just not sure I'm ready for whatever is heading my way.
04-18-2014, 11:50 AM
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MakersDozn Offline
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#2
May trigger  RE: Drinking n don't know why
Hi,

We hear your struggle. And we're sorry that you're going through a very difficult time.

When things get like this, it's important to get help in 3d. Online communities like MM are a great source of support, but they can't take the place of 3d help.

Do you have a therapist? If you do, please call. You can also contact Alcoholics Anonymous or go to your local emergency room.

Take care of you.

MDs
04-18-2014, 12:52 PM
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Twin Volition Offline
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#3
RE: Drinking n don't know why
Yeah, what MDs said. Definitely be careful with that. Especially if you're taking any kind of medication for depression, such as SSRIs or MAOIs, alcoholism can be really dangerous. They seem to have harmful interactions with a lot of other substances as well. Once, at the peak of a very painful depressive episode, I had bought some Robitussin with the intent of abusing it. I had read somewhere online that in low to mid recreational doses, it could cause intense euphoria, and that sounded real good to me because I wanted immediate relief. Fortunately, I found out before it was too late that mixing anti-depressants and dextromethorphan (the active ingredient in cough medicines) can result in serotonin toxicity, which has the potential to be life threatening, or at the very least unpleasant. I knew I had taken Paxil a week or so before at the hospital, and I wasn't sure how long it would remain in my system, so I didn't end up deciding to trip on the Robitussin. Since then, I have uncovered scores of other contraindications regarding robo-tripping, and it's actually quite unnerving how close I may have come to getting myself hurt or killed.

I've disposed of the cough medication to remove my temptation to abuse it, but what I'm saying is that any kind of drug is particularly dangerous if you have emotional problems, if not solely because of the fact that you have twice the reason to abuse it.

- Arlen
04-25-2014, 08:36 PM
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MakersDozn Offline
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#4
Friendship/Support  RE: Drinking n don't know why
Hi, Arlen. Good to see you again. You've made some very good points, and we're glad that you posted.

We hadn't heard about the dextromethorphan issue, and we take Prozac, so it's good to have this information. We ourselves have never had a problem taking cough medicine. One thing we are careful about, however, is to make sure that the cough medicine contains no alcohol.

It's always good to look up contraindications when taking meds. Knowledge is power.

MDs
04-25-2014, 09:50 PM
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The People Offline
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#5
RE: Drinking n don't know why
Hi there. Went that route in the past. When I sobered up the issues were still there plus the impact of drinking heavily on my mind and body. Sorry you have to go through this. And I hate to say it but you pretty much sound like you have to go through something. People used to remind me that whatever I was about to remember was in the past and I had already survived it. You can survive memories no matter how bad they are. You are safe. And if you put the bottle away so the memory can come out you will hopefully feel more in control. Memories are like measles or the flu. We always feel worse when they are hiding in the shadows. Once the light shines on them they can be recognized for what they are. A very ugly part of the past. And the past can only hurt us if we let it take control.
I Am My Only Chance For A Hero!
04-28-2014, 04:37 PM
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