He thought no one saw, he thought no one knew
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Downtherabbithole Offline
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#1
May trigger  He thought no one saw, he thought no one knew
It's been years, but he still haunts me, above all predators, he thinks because we shut down to the point blacked out n he would leave me in the office lock up n go home. Leaving me there, abandoning his duty of care after ab+sing his duty of care n the trust given to him. He thought no one saw, he thinks we don't remember or we didn't care what he did, my mentor, my friend, the person went to for counselling, the one I looked to as p@s+er..he thinks it went unnoticed... But I saw what he did, I care what he did and one day I will face him and show him that he no longer has power over me, even if just to stand there n don't shut down. I have to live with the fact I could only watch what he did, that I couldn't protect them, but I didn't know then what I know now. He was wrong, n he knew it, that's why he only did when no one was there, in his house when wife not there, in his car, in the ch..ch office... And only when I was emotional n dissociated. I think that's why he seemed to back off when I mentioned the possibility of did, I think he was afraid it could be true, maybe that a part would come out n fight back or maybe that the part that dissociated n didn't seem to remember what happened was only one inside me. He thought he was just shutting down one person, but he was wrong. He was triggering another part. Just because one came out doesn't mean no one else was watching. He haunts the system, but one day I will face him n show the others I can protect them now n that he no longer has power over us. I know he isn't safe now, I know he can't be trusted. I won't make that mistake, we won't make that mistake of trusting him again. And if strong enough I wish I could tell him that I know what he did, and he doesn't own me anymore, I'm not his victim anymore, we are not his victim cause I will not allow it. Never again.
04-13-2014, 07:26 PM
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nats Offline
here and there..
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Posts: 1,760
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#2
RE: He thought no one saw, he thought no one knew
you're not his victim anymore!
Blush Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain - E. Walsh Smile
04-16-2014, 03:54 AM
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