Tug of war
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Downtherabbithole Offline

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Joined: Mar 2014
Question  Tug of war
Hi, I hope everyone is well. I have a question, I'm not sure if I've asked this before, I had previously thought I was doing ok in this area after getting house ready for rent inspection and did up my bed with canapy it was like everyone working together having input. No one was fighting for time or hijacking the system. But this weekend it's back to tug of war. I had paperwork to do and I've got some rebellion with younger ones just wanting to play games. Last night spent hrs sorting out beads. Which is nice enough that part wants to make braclets for us to wear n was considerate to include ones to represent everyone. But the paperwork is coning to a deadline halt soon when supposed to be using it for a camp running with outside teens. Routecards risk assesments etc and I've got parts not wanting to train, wanting to play kids games on phone rather than work other want to make bracelets others washing and cleaning others look through photos of childhood to see if can piece things together others just to put Star Trek on. So many voices and wants or needs and I end up resorting to needing to ask for help. I spent alot of time not acknowledging their existance telling myself its just my imagination, there's no way. Ignoring all the signs. Now that I know they are there I'm faced with the task I never wanted before because was so confusing and overwhelming how to manage those inside parts so can get somewhere, get things done. It's always one or other, get so focused in one task nothing else matters. I didn't know before it was because one part was there to do that task n the other tasks belonged to someone else of which that part either didn't know about anything else that beefed to be done or didn't care it was only the current thing they cared about. But how can I manage the insiders in a way can get what need to get done. ?? Is there a way to make them all happy without doing every single thing that everyone wants to do in a set day??

Oh on a seperate note guess what?! As a treat for all work they all did last week we colored hair dark mocha and cause still had violet brown from last time that was showing growth n fading its a nice mix. My hairs never been this dark n I love it.
04-06-2014, 01:18 AM
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nats Offline
here and there..

Posts: 1,760
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Joined: Dec 2011
RE: Tug of war
think it's a problem a lot of members go through. some are very capable and handle it democratically and equitably - hopefully they can give advice. we don't manage this well. we are not a democracy. hours are wasted spinning in circles from one thing to another, particularly when important deadlines loom. things that are framed in terms of system survival get done. the rest is squabbled over.
Blush Learn how to manage conflict, because the greater the level you can tolerate, the more freedom you will retain - E. Walsh Smile
04-06-2014, 06:01 AM
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MakersDozn Offline
MM Oldtimer

Posts: 1,950
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Joined: Mar 2012
Feedback  RE: Tug of war
Giving the short answer here because our own current struggles are making us too scrambled to talk at length.

We identify with what both of you wrote. Those in our system who came up with the early vision of how it should work....they envisioned a democracy. We soon came to realize that a true democracy would result in situations such as you described, so we modified the ground rules. The internal council would prioritize much in the manner that nats described here. Less momentous things, like what shall we have for dinner or what shall we wear today, could be put up for vote.

Hoping things sort out for you,

04-06-2014, 11:59 AM
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