"I'm Sorry You Feel That Way"

[Tangled Web]

Hi MDs. That phrase has ticked me off many times when I have heard it in that past.
Being a nurse we are taught every year and reminded about customer service. That is one of the phrases we are taught to say in situations where the clients or family members are expressing some kind of emotional response to something. Agreeing with what was stated above, it places the responsibility on the person who is actually feeling the feelings. It is explained to us that as working in this field, we automatically try to fix things and take on the patients or whomever problems and feelings and try to fix it, that is part of our job. That is when burn out can happen, so in order to prevent that, we place the responsibility back on the person but are still able to provide support and listen to their feelings and it helps us to NOT take it personally. When people are in an emotional state, they tend to overgeneralize and look for someone to blame......not everyone does this.......but in our experience I hear them say things like "everyone" and 'always" and it is hard to not take those types of comments personally at times but when you do, the conversation usually takes a turn because you no longer are listening to their concerns, you have started to defend your actions. So after you have listened to someone vent or express themselves, you say I am sorry you feel that way. They usually will feel validated and heard which is the first big piece of the puzzle -but you need to listen to WHY they feel that way and then usually they will be able de escalate so you can work on finding solutions if needed. This is just things we have been taught along the way.
It doesn't necessarily answer your question "why it cheeses you off" but when I get mad after someone says that to me, it is usually because I wanted them to help with something or wanted to be heard and after I have expressed some kind of emotion and then they say I am sorry you feel that way, I am left with my needs or wants still unmet. That is where my anger comes from. And by that point it is too late to ask for what I wanted in the first place, because I just want them to go away and flip them the bird.
Laura