I have the beginning of news

[The People]

I shared my goal of setting up a self help group for multiples with someone; a mentor of sorts, a sorter of clashes between {idiot} and myself when I am ready to quit one of my volunteer jobs, and someone who is working on her P.Hd. I am not sure the nature of her degree but it is something in the humanities. I had asked her if she knew anyone in her large following that would be willing to help and she put her own name forward. This is as far as it has gotten as she had the nerve to tell me on this awful ugly day first real snow day that she is off to Mexico and we will meet when she gets back.

Before I moved to the city I had a friend with DID who warned me of the pathetic amount of support there was in this city. At the time I said "well I will start my own group. My world tipped on its side and the idea fell off. I wrote letters to government and other places. I compared our stats to that of people with schizophrenia and how they had all of these things happening while we had nothing. One FIDIOT sent a verbal response back that said "Schiz Society and supports came about because their families got involved. Perhaps you should get your family to help." I was so overwhelmed by the stupidity of the remark that I cried out of exasperation. Even the messenger knew what a stupid remark it was but she was just doing her job.

Part of it came from all that I wrote here asking about friendships and supports. Part of it just never went away.

The goal for the yet to be named group will be to focus on the present not to live in the past. That is for therapy. It will be the opportunity to connect with like minded others and to find ways to make life better for ourselves. We will not deal with people who are constantly suicidal; touch on it to look at ways of avoiding it perhaps but cannot and will not try to constantly rescue individuals in that state. Not my job and if someone keeps coming in just to talk about that I would have empathy but not the desire or the time to work with it. Some people may use that as a way of being the centre of attention and others (like me) might tend to be rescuers so we will have to deal with that.

If flashbacks come up we will discuss ways of coping with them. Writing, talking one on one with T or other... Trying to top each other re who has had the worst childhood is not the goal. And I will constantly remind them of this if the flashbacks keep coming up.I will use a lot of the rules that we have at MM. If people want to vomit up the past there are special rooms where they can go but it is not part of the every day. People talk about stuff that only another multiple or someone who works with them will really understand. And we create an online connection because that is the only place where we feel truly understood.

It will be like MM in 3D. People will be allowed to share anxiety and ask questions about "is this normal" and share ups and downs but it will not be a therapy group. I am not qualified and work on the past belongs in the therapy room.

I just told a friend about it. I think I would like to have one meeting a month that is support and one where we go out and do something fun as a group whether it is tobogganing or a movie or just something where people can get out in numbers to feel safe but still have fun.

So that is that. I just got co-facilitator's reply this morning and nothing will happen before the new year. But I finally feel as if I am going in the right direction. We will have a screening and referral process but that is not developed yet. Nothing is. Just the fact that it is going to happen. Have no idea how to find these future group members (well I have a few) but I know they will come. Even if we start small.

Feedback and suggestions welcomed.