Comparison of challeged lives

[The People]

I wonder if anyone else has ever made this comparison or noticed similarities.

Today I was watching a rerun of a television show. In it the main focus was a female character with Asperger's syndrome. She is open about her challenges. How she has to study others to figure out 'normal'. Read about it. How she has trouble explaining herself. How others don't understand her any more than she understands them. She is bright academically but socially she gets stuck.

I see many similarities. One is a birth challenge while ours are created by life. However, I do see a lot of challenges between us. I think I mentioned this to a T years ago and she stated that the big difference being they never get better while we will. I disagree because I will never be better to the point where life is not me being Atlas carrying the world on my shoulders.

And while people consider Asperger's to be fascinating and they do DID as well, they fear Asperger's less than DID. Work harder to understand it.

Opinions?

[nats]

i think it's a very valid comparison for all the reasons you mentioned. however, i think one of the reasons Aspergers is more accepted/understood is simply that it has had better lobbying (or marketing if you prefer). neither are intrinsically less socially acceptable, but Asp has had a lot more political focus.

similarly, LGBT issues have made huge political gains that perhaps couldn't even have been imagined a few decades ago - to the extent that we're expected to fill in 'sexual identity' and 'gender identity' in all bureaucratic forms, which we personally find even more traumatising than 'ethnicity' but can understand it's a major achievement for many. so, perhaps if as a global community we set out to change policy, one day people might be able to respond 'plural' or 'singular' to an identity question on these forms .

[The People]

I have had a 1 person campaign since I moved to this city over 10 years ago. I wrote one government/health office and talked about DID. I spoke of how there is speculation that our stats are 1/100 just like schizophrenia yet there is nothing for us and so much publicity for them.

Her response? She had her assistant phone me and tell me the following: People with Schizophrenia have so much support because their families have come forward to speak on their behalf. Perhaps I could have my family speak out for me.

I was so angry I started crying. Even the assistant felt bad because she recognized that it was a stupid response.

[nats]

it's a symptomatic of the problem though, isn't it? we tend to isolate and hide. if we don't join together and speak up who is there who could ever do so for us?

[The People]

Yes but I cannot do it myself. One cannot exactly advertise on KIJIJI "looking for other multies". All sorts of people would show up to check out the freak show. It is easier to come out Gay than with DID.

[nats]

agreed. which is why we need to be pragmatic about our goals and objectives for our (currently nonexistant) movement . we plan to write a book as a start, but it will have to wait till we can get the next promotion and have more stability.

[The People]

I have written a book as well. It is in the editing stages. It is not enough though. I did find the writing to be very cathartic. However, even here our numbers are dwindling. I don't notice any more gatherings for the North East crew, although they may happen without my being aware.

People got all interested in the phenomenon of DID in the '80s. But those people retired or moved on. he professionals that is. We had 1 psychiatrist in Edmonton who focused specifically on DID and se went over the edge herself, stopped taking her DID meds. I live in one of Canada's larger cities (small in comparison to the US) and there is nothing. I tried for years to get something going but it was the professionals who held things back. My T doesn't think I am at a place where I could run a group. I wouldn't necessarily listen to her but I would need help from a professional of some sort to give it cred and nobody is interested.

[argent]

I have often wondered about raising awareness in our community about DID, but it seems an overwhelming issue. It seems like a good idea to work to remove the stigma of how the trauma (sexual abuse) occurs that leads to DID, but I worry about being able to handle the various reactions I would be exposed to, some days I am fragile. People still blame the victim. All too often, survivors are treated as if they were complicit and cooperative in their abuse, especially if it went on for a long time. Unless you have experienced it or are a professional who treats survivors, people just don't get it. I guess that is where education efforts could help. No one, given the choice, wants to hear about sexual abuse or incest unless it's to comfort themselves that something like that could never happen in their family.

[The People]

Exactly Argent. And those people who say "it would never happen in our house" live with blinders on. I have had some very negative reactions when telling people. A few friends that I told early on did not keep it to themselves. One of the non-friends who was told used to watch me as if she was trying to catch me switching.

So while I think it needs to be brought out into the open I don't know how we cold do it collectively when we live in different provinces, states and countries. It would be nice if we could find an empathetic reporter who could help us figure that out. It would not be the big answer but it would be a step forward.

[FreyasSpirit]

Plural activism is something which is on our mind quite a bit these days. We want to find a way to promote the idea that multiplicity is not problematic in and of itself, but correlates strongly with cPTSD and other often debilitating conditions. We think one of our visions is to find a way to unite the plural community, from those with DID, to soulbonders, to tulpamancers, to those with types of multiplicity we do not yet have the language to describe. From this, we would hope to create a world where plurality is generally accepted and people can be out and do not have to hide any more. This alone would give people with DID more options to access healthcare.

For promoting healthy multiplicity, this article came out a while ago: https://www.vice.com/read/when-multiple-personalities-are-not-a-disorder-400

We often think about what we can or could be doing to spread knowledge and awareness and usually come to the conclusion that the best thing we can do now is to try to build communities and spread awareness in small ways to those nearby. During this process, we can collect our thoughts, process ideas, synthesize them into writing when we can. This way, when an opportunity to speak to the media or other opportunities come along to spread knowledge more widely, we will have a long list of things to talk about which we have thought deeply about.

[Irenes]

Hi! It is our first post here. This thread is really thoughtful and expresses a lot of truth, and kinda made us want to participate.

We feel like it should be possible to advertise plural spaces in the outside world. There's a certain trick that we're not entirely sure how to reproduce, but seem to have managed over on Twitter, of kinda projecting "this is real, we don't care what you think, we're crazy so you aren't going to get anywhere by arguing with us" while actually talking about building safe spaces, understanding intersectional issues, and other stuff that most of our mutuals get a lot of hate mail for, which we've managed to avoid so far.

Or maybe we just haven't been visible enough to attract negative attention. That's a depressing thought. We agree with several of you up-thread that community-building is the only way we're ever going to have a political voice, and are personally determined to make it happen, because ... nobody else is going to.

[The People]

Welcome Irenes! Glad you jumped in. It is an important topic. Because even close friends don't know or don't know how to accept us as we are. I am glad you are starting to chat about yous.

How would people feel about MM being part of a magazine article? I don't know which one as Psychology Today has already done one recently, focusing on one person. But that might be one way of getting us out there as being real, having similar life issues as monominds with some extras added in. I think it will be a long discussion before we find an answer but I would like to get it out there.

[BlackeBird]

This is an interesting conversation for me since I have both DID and ASD. I can totally see the crossover. Sometimes if something goes wrong for me it takes me a while to figure out whether it's due to one dx or the other. I agree with what people are saying about how autism receives more positive press and more support. Mental illness in general is not takes as seriously as "physical" illness. Some people still think folks with mental illness should just "act normal" and get over it. So annoying! DID in particular seems to be something that many mental health professionals still don't believe in, despite all the research proving otherwise. I hope people get their heads out of the sand soon.

Kate

[The People]

Hear Hear!

[WeAreKaren]

Oh wow! I am in on this! Ever since learning that I have DID, I have wanted to do something to help improve things for those with DID and to end child abuse. I knew before I could start, I needed to focus on healing from my huge breakup trauma as well as all the grieving, learning, and such needed once the Hosts were aware they were part of a system and what that meant about my childhood. I agree with everything that everyone has said. I especially relate to the fact that I've had to learn to figure out whether an issue is due to DID, C-PTSD, or SPD. And the truth is, most of my issues these days are due to the C-PTSD.

I too believe that we need to build a community. There's strength in numbers, and there's also anonymity for those who need to stay in the background. Those who are able can be the "spokespersons" supported by many who can remain "invisible" and yet lend their numbers. That's how every "minority" that has managed to make progress in getting better treatment in this world has achieved what they have.

I would like to help however I can. And once I'm to a certain point in my progress, I am willing to be a "front" person. I've always been different, in so many ways. I was bullied in school for being the new kid and being smart. Over the years I've solidified my identity as a liberal, tree-hugging, recycling, pagan, queer feminist. And now I'm 56 years old, I know who my friends are, and as for those who throw rocks and look at me strange, I don't give a damn!!!

So as I said before, count me in!!! Karen