Holding Onto Painful Feelings (Dental Talk)

[MakersDozn]

Recently I told someone on another forum:

I keep dreaming about things that happened 10, 20, 30 years ago. These are not happy dreams.

Part of me wants to hold onto the past and the pain that it brought me, because I'm afraid to let go and move forward into the unknown. Another part of me wants to heal. I can't stand having conflicting feelings.

Today I woke up angry. This in itself is new for me. In the past, I would have allowed others in our system to absorb the anger so that I would not have to deal with it. I've learned to reclaim those difficult feelings, but I still have difficulty letting them go.

As part of the lengthy process of cleaning out our parents' house to prepare for selling it, we came across a letter that our orthodontist had sent to our parents in 1972, when we began treatment at age 10. Our brother began treatment at the same time at age eight. Our own treatment lasted until we were 17.

The letter in itself was not a problem. It simply described how we should take care of our teeth and the orthodontic appliances during the treatment process. But this seemingly innocuous letter unearthed how barbarically painful the treatment was for us. The anger that I felt was that the doctor had no idea how much he was hurting us. He wasn't hurting us intentionally, but it hurt nonetheless.

I never said anything. I never said anything about how I felt about anything, no matter what the situation. By the time I was about seven, I had totally given up hope that anyone would hear me, help me, or even care. And a life lived in hopelessness is not really living.

[Silent Society]

Your words resonate with me. I too remember extremely painful early dental experiences. I am sorry that happened to you. Your last paragraph is one that I could have written. It was very clearly stated and very descriptive. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you peace.

[MakersDozn]

Thanks, Silent Society. We're sorry that you had painful dental experiences as well.

We were talking about this topic with our T at our last session. One thing that we mentioned was that we'd love to know how far orthodontia has evolved since the 1970s. Our nieces (ages 15.5 and 12) have braces now. We can only hope it's far less painful for them than it was for us.

MDs

PS: Charity wrote the original post. Sorry that she didn't include her name at the bottom when she cut and pasted it from our blog.

[The People]

I have heard that it is much easier now unless the problem is extreme. Not painless but compared the braces now to what you had. They are much simpler. Something that I read too is that we multies are more sensitive to pain. And because we are never in a safe place where we can express it we store it. Perhaps your upset was due to this stored pain. Sorry you had to go through that.

In the summer we injured the leg and had to have over a dozen stitches. Someone screamed the whole time. T thought that part of it might have been something like memories being released.

[MakersDozn]

Hi The People,

Yes, we remember that peak posted about your getting the stitches. We're sorry that it was so painful for you.

Even back in the 1980s, only 10 years or so after our orthodontia, we remember reading that at least one of the child actors from "Little House on the Prairie" had invisible braces. This was done so that the braces wouldn't be seen on a program that was set in the 1870s.

I can only imagine how the treatment has improved.

Thanks and take care,

Charity