Letter to FOO

[The People]

I have done this before but never sent it. This time I will send 2 copies as that is all of the addresses we have. They gather together like a cluck of chickens being fed anyway so I am sure everyone will get to read it. I talk of some of the hurts I experienced; excluding the red dot stuff as that is the mother's and she is gone.

I told about things they did. And then I wrote about why some of them still hurt 50 years later; because the things were so symbolic of what they did to me as a child. Told them that they would not be told about my death until after matters had been dealt with (no plans made) but that a letter would be sent to the local paper there and would read "died alone. No spouse, no children, no siblings." Then I told them that I never really lived anyway because they took all that from me no matter how much they denied it and now I am just a core.

Then I sort of pulled myself together and made my bed, tidied up a bit but it is so messy nobody would noticed if they came. I watched TV and woke up to go to yoga but it was cancelled. Went back to sleep then had a bath. Drank my coffee from there. After it was done I intended to read. Instead I reflected on the letter and specific incidents I wrote about. And I cried. I guess cores don't cry do they?

The picture is the end of innocence taken at age 2 1/2. Two says it is her.