Having difficulty figuring this one out....

[Unity]

I think i can relate to this kind of dilema, not sure it's exactly the same.

Usually well a bit like what you say i never saw myself as a victim, i'm alive, and i don't think i'm specially weak of vulnerable in general, but in fact it started to move a bit in my mind in fact when i have read the book milenium.

Well it's a bit already trash story, but there is a scene that struck me is at some point there is some police reccord or witness that say she has been seen drinking with older stranger in the street, or having all kind of weird behavior, it totally blew me off to a degree idk, or that some behavior i was having was not totally normal in some degree, involved lot of avoidance, denial, blocks and many unhealthy things, and well in a way all those things are still remaining of past aggression, and can still be seen as a victim behavior, or post victim behavior, or ex victim, which is you would not be a victim of this anymore now, but still carry some traits linked to the result of this aggression which is being in 'post traumatic' more than really a victim.

The sense of powerlessness or vulnerability that is associated with the concept of victim implying you could be powerless again further attempt of this kind of aggression is probably what is disturbing with saying to be a victim.

I don't remember who said The most effective mesures in war come from survivors. Maybe some asian general.