Having Children

[Vivey]

(08-22-2012, 12:04 AM)My_horse_is_my_therapist Wrote: We don't think it will be a problem because i'm hugely maternal, and we want six or seven kids. I'venever been able to raise my voice or be nasty to children, and i've been an aunty since I was twelve.
I'm just terrfied of screwing them up. I would never be able o trust anyone with them, given the people that i was entrusted to did a world of damage.

I don't think I could not have kids as it's all I want but like it was said, a normal parent with a normal child is a tough gig in itself.

I found out I had DID about a year after I became a mother. I knew about my trauma history but didn't know I was shattered. I'd been working with a superb therapist who was fortunately well versed in PTSD. I was also two years into my addictions recovery and had mighty 12 Step support. I was single. Hadn't planned on being a parent. Whoops! I just decided to go with it. Best decision I ever made! My daughter is now a well adjusted 25 year old in a fine and functional relationship and the fabulous mother of my beyond delightful two and 1/2 year old granddaughter. DID is 100% trauma based. I don't think there is a genetic component to it. I made a solemn promise to be the most present, loving mother I could be and to never rear my child the way I was raised. I stayed in therapy for almost a decade and went back for tune-ups as needed. I stayed clean and sober. I cannot begin to describe the magic of seeing a perfect innocent child thrive on love and vigilant nurturing. It's just the best thing ever. My peeps were totally about protecting my kiddo as they protected me. And what fun the little ones had! The main drawback was being triggered by her vulnerability at various ages; memories of abuse and outrageous grief and rage at my perps. I managed to keep my personal hell from tainting her, though, and was highly motivated to work, work, on myself. She was a teenager before she even knew I was a we. Anyhow this post is getting way to long so I'll wrap it up with: Go for it! Best, Vivey et al