I need a nice, loving, kind vacation from life

[WendyLee]

Even as a child we had no one who loved us.

I had always hoped and wished and dreamed that if I was a good girl and followed the orders from childhood, to be a nice girl and help ppl, to sit still, and to always try to do my frugal best...... that I, that WE would find our loving Prince or Princess Charming with their kind and accepting family who would give us hugs and love and kindness.

Where does one find that?

Is there a secret that we do not know about and no one will tell us?

What can we do differently?

we are so tired of trying so hard for so long to try to figure this out.

we are sicke and tired of horrible therapists and doctors and nurses and medical people in general.

I tossed all of my psych books since they are for the singlets.

we do NOT want to write our story and bring up the horrible horrible past, and find out new horrors in this horrible life. horrible

when does it get better?

what is the point of 56 years of trying? of multiples of 56 years of trying?

what is the point of being a nice person when one gets used, abused, and tossed out with the trash?

why is my life getting worse when I am trying so hard to make it better?