Talk of death MT

[The People]

Some people may view this as messing with boundaries. I don't wish to discuss that at this point.


Years ago I met a nurse when I was in and out of H. She was a very sweet person who would hug clients who would accept one. She made everyone feel special. Us especially so. She had warm brown eyes and a great laugh.


At night everyone would be in bed. She could bring her coffee and sit with us as we were always the last to be asleep. Often the teens came out. They would be all annoyed at something that had happened during the day. Sarcasm would abound.

Instead of reprimanding or trying to twist our frame of thought she would laugh and make a joke. Eventually she would have us laughing. Eventually she would hug us and say good night. Great hugs.

We lived in the same apartment building so I would often see her coming and going. We became friends. Not close buddies going out for wine together and she kept the teens in line when they were acting up. She would never, ever interrupt conversations with other patients to talk with us. But we knew she cared about us.

Eventually she started to have troubles in her own life. She told me something one day as I got off the apartment elevator and she got on. I didn't know what to say.

I loved her though. We stayed in touch through FB and once when she came back to town she came for a visit. There was something changed with her. She still laughed but there was a cloud underneath it.

Her dark time got darker. On Friday night my T texted me. My friend that I depended on for hugs/my nurse who relied on me to act like a grown up.

I am so sad