Reacting to people relying on you

[Gim]

(01-07-2016, 10:40 PM)The People Wrote: She backed me up and let me know I wasn't being unfair. I used to provide this sort of help for a living but there is a reason why I don't do it anymore. As my friend put it I don't have the elasticity anymore. As my pdoc put it on Tuesday, 2015 was a year of hell. I am exhausted. But I cannot just leave her.

I like your friend.     I like the comment about not having elasticity.  

Boundaries.  They are soooo freeking hard to stand by. Yet, for your own sanity you need to set them and then keep them.  

Set the boundaries. Aside from guilt and do your very best to keep them.  If you tell her to sign up for the bus. She needs to do it. If you can help her do it or find the contact and make it happen and it is within YOUR ability and doesn't make YOU feel worse...then do it.  Do not enable her. It will only make you feel worse. 

You can lead a horse to water but you can not make them drink.  

Now....that being said. I hear you.  I get it. I have a friend who I have said that quote above about horses over and over. I get what chronic pain is like. I get what being frustrated with the system is like. I get it. Yet, if I don't continue to advocate and fight for my own healing...nobody will do it.  This friend told me 2 weeks ago she was resigned to being in pain for rest of her life and her shoulder will never get fixed.  That is her choice. Not mine. I get that pain because I have had the very same injury. I have had 3 shoudler surgeries.  Yet...I have taken my healing physically and emotionally seriously.  I can't make her want it.  Just like you can't make your neighbor want it.  If she misses an appt because she chooses to not follow threw or you set boundaries and said no.  That is her deal. Not yours. Sure I feel guilty that L struggles and I am sure you will as well. 

Taking care of you is the most important.  Then others.  

Hang in there.