frustrated

[The People]

Things will happen when you and yours are ready. I am glad she isn't pushing. Before there was an awareness of we little odd things would happen that we could never explain. For example, she would ask us what the weather was like and since the me at her door was not the me who drove there I would have no clue. My response would always be "about the same". Same as what? I knew this was odd but felt that saying "can't remember" was even more weird. Now I do remember which can be unfortunate.

Change is scary, even if it is inevitable. Small changes can eel like huge ones even if others don't understand why. Sometimes for us the specific change is related to something in the past. Something I freak over is change in physical surroundings. I remember freaking when I got new furniture and they painted my apartment and carpeted it. I freaked so much I ended up taying with a friend overnight. I don't know why it scared me. The same thing would happen when I would travel out of town in the fall and come home to Christmas lights on the lamp posts. Panic. Maybe someone was worried that we had lost time. Or they had actually done so. We hate change. I was very touched when my T informed me of a small change she would be making. Adding a new chair. Sometimes small things are bi things.