Semantics

[MakersDozn]

Addressing this topic because it's important to us and we're struggling for some clarity here.

Trigger warning for not wanting to offend anybody.

We've always had a definite stance on various items of multiple-personality terminology since realizing in 1996 that we're a "we." But because some of us can be overly blunt (various system members point to Laura), we've gotten more than a little hesitant to address the terminology issue.

But we have to resolve this within ourselves. This "unfinished business" is impeding our overall sense of who we are as a system and as individuals within that system.

So, we're going to do our best to speak only for ourselves and state things in a way that doesn't invalidate the views or experience of anyone else. We expect that we will make several posts as we consider various portions of this issue. It's too big to tackle at once.

*Deep breath*

Okay, let's start with body ownership. Our body belongs to everyone in the system. However, everyone in the system is obligated to live by the principle of system responsibility, and to treat the body safely at all times. We do not SI, although we have some minor eating issues and trichotillomania issues.

With the above in mind, we regard the body as a container or vehicle, albeit a living one that requires care and the respect of all within. Some of us hate what the body looks like; many others don't care, because they can more easily separate their individual identities from the external "identity" that the world sees. We try to compromise on clothing, haircut, etc. in a way that's at least acceptable to all inside.

Alters: We've never liked the term and never use it. We saw a very helpful statement in another online forum that reflects our view. The gist of the idea revolved around not considering any system member the "true" person, and not regarding any system member as more real than the rest.

All of us, regardless of age, see ourselves as individuals and understand that we're not the same "person," if "person" is defined as a having a distinct sense of self and way of relating to the world (tipping our collective cap to the DSM-V criteria). The only possible exception would be baby amanda, who is about six to nine months old, and whose thought processes, if any, are unknown to us. Ditto with her capacity to feel emotions.

Parts: We're a little less uncomfortable with this term, although it's not a favorite. In being members of a collective, we are parts of the whole. The term "parts" carries no implication that any one of them is more important or valid or real than the rest, so we can live with it. We prefer "system members" or "inside family," although we recognize that the latter term might carry a negative connotation for other people. It works for us because we are our family of choice.

Well, that's about all we can deal with in one sitting. We really want to discuss terms like "host" and "split," but those will have to wait.

Various MDS