Loss in Family (MT)

[MakersDozn]

(10-05-2014, 03:27 PM)The People Wrote: First of all I am soo sorry as I know you had a good relationship with your father. Maybe like you with baseball your younger brother wants your Dad to show up. I have done some research in grief and loss. If it is doable would your brother be capable of staying in the house for a year? That is what they recommend to many people. That you don't change much of anything in that first year. Not just out of respect but because people need time to grieve and come to terms with things. You will all need that. But moving your brother out f the house abruptly could send him into a tailspin. Perhaps you could start planning but not push it too hard. We all grieve in our own way but it would be very sad for him to have to go through so many changes so quickly. I do recognize that this may put added pressure on you and your other brother but just throwing in my nickel.

Thanks. Much appreciated.

Brother #2 is definitely attached to the house, and we know that him staying there, at least for the time being, is an important part of his process. The house was deeded over to the three of us equally a couple of years ago, so that it wouldn't count as part of our father's assets should he have to go into a nursing home. Part of the legal document stated that our father would be allowed to live in the house for as long as he wanted.

The house has a mortgage. Property taxes in the area are significant, as are utility costs. Brother #2 has no real awareness of the finances involved. He is an office clerk. There is no way that he could maintain the house even if he wanted to.

Our father had a life insurance policy, and a pension....but how much of a dent will it make? There are also estate taxes, inheritance taxes....it scares the living crap out of us.

One step at a time.

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