Overwhelmed

[canucklady1971]

It happens every year, I get triggered by anniversary dates coming up. I should be used to it, but every year I think it will be different yet it isn't.

Just tired of getting triggered so easily. So many things have happened in past and I can't seem to control the nightmares.

It is like my brain in stuck on repeat and every year I remember more and more of what happened when I was younger. I don't even know what is real anymore.

I called my psychologist and I have appt with her tomorrow, but now not even sure if it will help.

Part of me wants to just give up, part of me is saying I can't trust anyone, and another part is thinking none of the memories are true.

I get up every morning and dread facing the day, yet then a part of me just gets up and just goes through the motions.

Then last week at psychiatrist's office, another therapist opens the door while we were still in session, we got triggered big time, not sure why. On top of the previous trigger of a bunch of teenagers hanging out at entrance of doctor's office, which freaked me out as well.

Just triggers upon triggers lately, on top of anniversary reaction. Just too much sometimes.

Not sure what the point is really.