comment on forgiveness..

[tweeter]

It sounds good, but not to me. The person who hurt or offended might take that as a challenge, like a red cloth in front of a bull. This can be very subtle.

It brings to mind my old way of dealing with people who tried to fool me into agreeing to something they wanted, but which would not be good for me, and they knew it.
So, I told the person very politely that I was wise to him and to please stop treating me that way. The behaviors did not cease. In fact, there was escalation, and situations like that can become aggressive.

To back up some... Your first comment about forgiveness is right on the money.
Forgiveness comes in more than one flavor, and is always conditional.
Or, not even remorse will result in it, if the apology was solely manipulative, or a prelude to further incidents.
In fact, forgiveness might be conditional not only re an absence of repetition, but also on making amends (for instance, to admit lying and destroying another person's credibility and reputation, etc.).

There can be situations in which a person can't escape from whatever brings new abusive and lying people into a life. My experience has been that no matter what I do, I am thwarted. I have examined my choices, assessed my failings. But, there has been too much sabotage coming from outside sources way beyond the origin, and yet related in nature to it.
At this point, I've given up. There is light within me that is beautiful. As far as being in the world, I'm finished due to illness, and that's a long story. I have no forgiveness for the people who have done me in as they have, or made me look bad to enhance themselves, and either turned their backs or just never stop. Goes beyond abuse.

Anyhow, never cue your opponent as to your intent, especially if it challenges. To speak to yourself like that re abusers, sounds positive. But, there's too much emotional energy spent on what seems to me a kind of defensiveness that should not be at the forefront. Rather than thinking "You can't stop me!", I would envision a "Yes" to your being, without thought otherwise.

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