Overwhelming and extremely scary day

[dragonfairy]

Thanks for the positive words Nats and Ingraine while I was away. It has been a hard couple of days. The visit with the Ps was really scary. Our "t" ended up not being able to make it but lucky my adopted mom was able to come and help me through it. The next visit is in 3 more weeks and next time both of them are going to be able to come. For at least the next month or two they are either one of both going to go with us to the visits until we feel we can go on my our or if that happens. We spent 2 hrs talking about nothing but just medications alone. Ones that we are currently on, past medications, and ones he wanted to take us off of and one he wanted to try mus on. It was everything everything we had not to run out screaming. But our mom was great and held our hand when needed. Brought us back from spacing out when needed and the Ps didn't even notice anyways. And had us take breaks as needed so as not to get to overwhelmed. We were glad that he did agree to take us off the medication that the hospital put us on while we were there a few weeks ago as it was making us worse and giving us tons of side affects. Then he asked about starting us on another one for nightmares that he said might help us to sleep so we agreed to try. It is a new treatment that is being tried for PTSD and nightmares that works for some people but not all. And for us we have them so bad and never sleep we decided that in this case it was worth a try. As for what you said about other meds Ingraine we only take anxiety meds and nothing else besides this new one at night. Our "t" doesn't want to drug us out either as she has a agreement with us to respect our wishes to not be drugged. So she said she would make it clear at the next meeting with the new doc that he is to respect that wish if at all possible as well. Has been a scary few days and things are still really hard but we are taking things one moment at a time which is all we can right now. Hopefully one day things will get better. We are glad though to be back here amongst friends that at least understand us and we can share and not feel embarrased of who and what we are!