New member needs help

[Cammy]

Hi Pheonix. My name is Igraine. I have DID and so does my husband. He is newly diagnosed and is not fully in control of some of his angrier alters, so I can empathize with your situation. My husband also has PTSD and this just compounds things. The first thing I would wonder is what kind of therapist he is seeing - I hope that it is someone trained in trauma disorders and has DID training as well. The problem being that if they don't understand DID they can do more harm than good. Having said this, I have personally found that when things are not going okay with my alters, I simply go see my therapist and she makes brilliant suggestions on how to remedy the situation. I recently had some serious problems with my angry teen alter, Fagan, coming out and wreaking havoc with my mom and my husband, so I went to see my T (therapist). My T made the rest of my personality system acknowledge and appreciate how much of all my pain that Fagan is actually carrying, and then my T gave Fagan permission to email her anytime she wanted to. This settled Fagan down right away.

As for your husband. I don't know how you two have decided to handle the situation when he switches into an unpleasant personality. My husband has asked me to let him know, but I have found that it is better to talk to him about the switch after he becomes "himself"again. His alter would be resentful. It sounds like you and your husband need to establish some kind of protocol for communicating with him when he is switched to another individual. What works for one person, might cause another to boil over, so it is important that you are both on the right page. Above all, you must not suffer in silence or your mental health is going to be impacted negatively. I would seriously suggest going to see his T alone, by yourself, and explain what's going on, and then ask for suggestions. If anything, you will be able to express how you are feeling about all of this. The T might well be able to help you in ways you never thought of.

In the mean time, please come here and post. We are very helpful when sincere individuals seek our guidance and experience. Please let us know how this turns out. I'm sure that others here will chime in with their own suggestions. We have some very clever individuals on this board, so hopefully they will be able to assist you as well. Above all, if you need to vent, come here and do so. We have big shoulders and will give you all the opportunity to speak out. You are not alone in this.

Warmest regards . . . Igraine