Know what I like about this place?

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Hi, I promised to answer you re another post, thinking it would be easy. It wasn't. I got stuck. I'll get back to that.

Hmmm, patience. Experience has shown me that what is often called patience is overrated. I've learned for myself that I didn't know when to make a move, justified by patience. Not being impulsive by nature, it was too easy for me to be sc*r*d into immobility by someone else's insistence that I be patient, go with the flow, and so forth. It got worse than that, and I had to face it. My natural tenacity led to perseverance in the wrong direction at the wrong time. A way of being kept in one's place, especially when I thought I could make up for the lost time. No. Everyone makes mistakes.

Not that I can't move fast at times, generally because my mind was already made up (in terms of a like theoretical situation), and all I needed was unobstructed opportunity if it came to pass. What about the few and far between wonderful opportunities, or slight advancements, that are nice and challenging Surprises? Oh boy.

I realized that knowing when and how to act go far beyond having patience and perseverance. For me, that amounts to a personal re-definition of patience and timing, which are far more flexible, or inflexible, than I had understood. It's easier to get it when one runs out of runway. I'm still kind of tentative, but thinking thru better. Yeah, branding by others and internalizing that cr*p really did a job on this life.

The No Cross Talk rule is something I value. In that stillness I translate another person's work/opinion in terms of my own, having time to hear and feel, rather than sit in judgment. Relevance to my feelings does not equal the value of another person's point of view. Judgment is another step, at another time, separate, in the right ways, by the right people.

Yeah, I know. Just as wordy as ever. shrug.

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