Estate Stuff

[MakersDozn]

Our work cleaning out the house continues. Brother number 1 was in town again this weekend. The three of us (B1, B2, and us) made very good progress cleaning junk and crappé out of the downstairs rooms. B1 also took some books to a re-seller and got a few dollars for them. Most of the remaining books will either get donated to libraries or nursing homes or, sadly, disposed of.

We also went with B2 to look at an apartment. The place was clean and newly updated but a bit out of B2's budget range. B2 took some photos with his phone and emailed them to B1. He also called him, which was a good thing, because B1 convinced him not to jump into anything too quickly. B2 will keep an eye out for other listings. And B1 probably won't be back in town until the first weekend of December.

It's hard for each of us in our own way, going through this. We've mentioned before that B2 is the outwardly emotional one. His minute-long spontaneous crying outbursts have decreased greatly, but he made it a point of telling us today that he's still hurting.

"It feels like I'm dying inside," he said.

"I know how that feels," we told him. "I feel the same way sometimes."

It's true. We've had some dark thoughts lately, and not just because of this stuff. Other aspects of our life are just as stressful, and we recently told our T that it feels like our quality of life has gone down the toilet. We should say that we don't act on the dark thoughts, because we understand the implications of our actions. We stay safe, and we plod along in hope that the dark cloud of suckage will lift at some point.

Meanwhile, we're looking forward to our upcoming staycation. We'll be home all week of American Thanksgiving. B1 and family have decided to skip the gathering held by SIL's relatives, and we understand why. He needs a rest just as much as we do. SIL's relatives welcome us and B2 even if B1 isn't attending, but only B2 will go.

We like SIL's relatives, but our main point in going would be to spend time with our nieces. They and their parents are our comfort zone. Since they won't be there, we'd rather stay home. We'd rather eat a turkey sandwich from 7-Eleven and watch football than subject ourselves to four hours of discomfort and anxiety.

MDs