she's gone....
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kittyfamily Offline

Posts: 23
Threads: 16
Joined: May 2014
she's gone....
kitty who was in charge of our system left me in charge
I don't know where she went or what I did to make her mad
without her I am almost like a trans man though the littles are still there and have some feminine influence .
I have many LGBT friends at college and I've gotten them to use male pronouns and more recently my name
however I will not do anything to permanently change my body even though the being a boy in a female body is very hard . the littles would be upset and kitty might come back.
no one here knows I'm multiple
I'm even afraid to tell the counseler I see through my college because I worry that I'll actually get diagnosed as DID and I'd rather not be labeled
I miss kitty every single day .as far as I'm concerned she was my sister......
the other DID forum I sometimes went on wants my money now so I'll be here more often.....
10-18-2014, 08:13 PM
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orek Offline
Senior Member

Posts: 302
Threads: 12
Joined: Jun 2012
RE: she's gone....
Hi, we use the handle "orek" here, though some of us use our insider names or collective names. We've been coming here a number of years but not very consistently, so I don't think we've met you. Therefore, knowing we are unfamiliar with you and your system, please disregard and forgive us if our feedback is so off base it makes you want to scream. What you shared is big and important, and I'm afraid we can't do it proper justice, but for what it's worth, a couple things did occur to us.

I'm sorry kitty suddenly left you in charge and confused, especially without an explanation. How disorienting! However, I feel from your post that you are a very thoughtful and capable guy, and I'm wondering if kitty didn't just need a rest and feel safe leaving things in your hands. Lots of times people have confidence and faith in us without thinking to verbalize it. I know our upfronters sometimes have a "changing of the guard" because the ones presenting just get so beaten down and tired that they are in need of rest and safe retreat. It's amazing how all our systems just seem to know how to allow that to happen within our own workings so that we can keep going against all odds, isn't it? Do you think this might be what's going on? Perhaps she's not mad at all, but, as the person "in charge" of your system, she just wanted/needed a break?

My second thought is about exposing your DID status. We don't let people know either, except our T and wife. Having been to a college counselor, I would worry about that relationship being safe enough to expose your DID, as well, and not because a diagnosis is necessarily a bad thing--it's not always. It can be validating and also allow your T to justify to insurance companies and bosses the type of help you need. But my concern is more with the transitory nature of college counselors and the possibly deficient training on things of this nature. Only you can know if it's safe, but if Kitty chose not to share with this counselor, I'm glad to see you are hesitating, as well.

I'm sure you all will find your own way, and again, please forgive me if the input is way off. We're sorry you're going through such a confusing transition, and do keep everyone here posted on how it's going. We hope kitty is okay and getting some good rest somewhere. Cheers.--orek
10-18-2014, 10:05 PM
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The People Offline
Long Time Member Who grew Up Here

Posts: 2,869
Threads: 1,021
Joined: Jun 2012
Feedback  RE: she's gone....
Hi kittyfamily. I am not sure how long kitty has been gone but you are wise to know not to do anything irreversible while she is away. We used to have a friend here who always said "safety is the first rule". Many of us here have male alters. Ours are little boys, teens and elders.

We know the fear of telling but we did tell. When we were ready. It is your choice whether to tell or not. Glad you came here and I hope it is helpful for you as it is for us.
10-19-2014, 02:25 AM
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MakersDozn Offline
MM Oldtimer

Posts: 1,950
Threads: 186
Joined: Mar 2012
Friendship/Support  RE: she's gone....
Hi kittyfamily,

We're sorry that kitty's disappeared. We've been through something similar and know that it can be distressing.

We empathize with your gender issue and are glad that your 3d friends are respecting your wish to be seen as male. And we too are glad you're not going to make any irreversible changes.

Hoping that you're able to work through this in a way that's best for you all.

10-19-2014, 10:50 PM
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Twin Volition Offline

Posts: 26
Threads: 7
Joined: Mar 2014
RE: she's gone....
This thread's kind of old, but I'd like to add that we also understand what it's like to experience gender dysphoria and not know what to do about it. I hope the answers will come to you eventually, as they did for us.

- Aria
11-17-2014, 09:08 AM
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