bad day

[Tangled Web]

I had the worst day ever! It felt like my words were just flying out of my mouth and I was so angry. This feeling thing has gotten the better of me and I don't know how to control it. I actually yelled at my administrator-not good. I couldn't control it and it just escalated from there. I was a royal b*tch and on a war path. Just so fed up with everything. Someone came up from behind me and put there hand on my shoulder and I startled me as I jumped and turned around I had my fist ready to punch them. It was a total reflex-coming from where I don't know but it was there. I feel out of control and I don't know how to get it back.

[The People]

Hmmmm. An angry teen close by? We find that quite often when we have days like that someone or something is circling the opening to come into the light. Yes the days suck. Hope it gets better soon.

When I had to work with a bunch of people and had stupid cubicles instead of an office door I spent more time in the washroom on days like this. Not long enough that someone would come looking for me. Just enough that I could have some breathing space. Worked best if there was nobody in the other cubicles. And I HATE when people decide to talk to you in the privacy of a bathroom! A T said it is because I cannot dissociate which is probably true.

[Tangled Web]

How do people do it? How do people deal with having feelings? One minute I am fine and then in a split second I am not. I don't know why........I feel like I am losing my mind.

[nats]

hi TW, sorry it's tough.

people deal with feelings as with anything else by having them, getting used to them, and then (sometimes very slowly) learning to manage them so they're not so overwhelming. if you haven't felt them before, you're basically starting from scratch and having to learn what others learnt from early childhood - i.e. self-soothing and management of emotions so they don't overwhelm like this. you'll get there b/c you're smart. some people never learn self management, but T should be able to help..

[Tangled Web]

Thanks guys. I had a conversation with T on the phone and told her that she just didn't get it and I didn't understand why because I felt I was being clear. She thought this was temporary and would go away but it hasn't. Then she got it I think. She wanted to be able to give me what I needed but she didn't know what that was which I couldn't understand because I have been telling her-I just needed her to get it. Well I guess that translates into that I needed validation. That is what she says the word is for what I was looking for. I just needed her to hear me and "get it". She can't help me if she doesn't get it.
After the panic dies down a little a bit and I stop thinking about how to get things back to the way they used to be-what you said makes sense nats. It does feel like I am starting from scratch. Thank you for believing in me-it means a lot and another thing I needed to hear.
This does really SUCK!