Hi, new here and not sure if I belong

[MaximiliansMom]

Hi all, came across Mosaic Minds as I was trying to research DDNOS. My almost-19-yr-old son has announced (to his stepmom) that he has other people who live inside him and help him. He's been in psychiatric care since he was 9 for issues with anger outbursts, domestic violence, and other inappropriate behaviors, and he's been variously dx over the years with everything from ADHD to bipolar disorder to conduct disorder to Asperger's. He's been hospitalized four or five times, the last time for a suicide attempt.

I don't know of any specific trauma that would have caused him to develop dissociative disorder; his dad and I divorced when he was 7 and he's had a loving stepfather since then. I don't know the whole story of how things were when he lived PT with his dad--it depends on whom you ask. I do know I never witnessed him being abused.

Starting a few years back, he began mentioning that he had a person he called Paranoia who told him to do bad stuff. We never could decide whether he was just saying this for attention or was serious, and this included his caregivers. I don't want to sound like I doubt my kid, because I love him; but he has had a tendency over the years to pick up on whatever malady the kid(s) he was hanging around with at that time were currently suffering from. He is now away at a trade school where he lives on campus, and his roommate, apparently, truly has DID, to where he thinks his personalities are telling him to suck people's blood for sustenance (they're all vampires). My son says his Paranoia personality has been replaced by another one that he calls Maximilian, who is calmer and helps him, and also a female personality. He *also* says he needs blood.

Part of me thinks this is a heaping pile of you-know-what, and another part is terrified. Again, please don't think me insensitive--I'm a smart person with advanced degrees, but it's hard for me to understand how someone I've known for 19 years can have all this going on and I can't see it. To me, it appears as if these "personalities" appear when it's convenient for him, to get him out of something he's done wrong (and refuses to take responsibility for--which I believe is a learned behavior and something he came by naturally on his father's side). And I don't doubt he could convince himself they are real. But if he really is this messed up--and I have no way to know right now because this government program he's in pretty much controls his life right now--then I'm afraid that living with vampire boy is going to mess him up even worse. I really don't know what to do for him.

Maybe that was too long for an introduction, but as I said in the subject line, I don't know if I really belong here. I just didn't know where else to go. Thanks if you read this far.

[nats]

hi MaximiliansMom,
you belong here if you want to be here and if you find it helpful .

whether you'll find it helpful given your son's circumstances is impossible to know, but maybe spending some time here and asking questions will be useful for you.

at any rate, welcome to MM! feel free to look around and get to know people.

[Reilly]

Welcome to Mosaic Minds. The support here is terrific.
Sorry you are struggling with these issues. Hopefully your son will be able to eventually find a healthcare provider who will conduct a thorough evaluation and come up with the correct diagnosis. Many with DID often get misdiagnosed.
Try not to be too hard on yourself. If your son is multiple, they are very good at hiding themselves. I have a background in clinical social work and was familiar with DID and still didn't know that my child had parts.
Hang in there. If your son does have DID he is going to need your strength and support.
See you on the boards.

[Cammy]

One thing I do know about being DID is that all our personalities are responsible for their own behaviour. This has even been established in the American Court system where it has been recognized that alternate personalities are responsible enough to either testify or be sentenced for their actions. I wonder if your son would find this fact of interest? Being in an alternate state does not excuse the behaviour of that alternate, not even in a court of law. It might give him pause to consider using this as a ploy IF that is what he's been doing.

[nats]

(03-05-2013, 12:47 AM)Igraine Wrote: One thing I do know about being DID is that all our personalities are responsible for their own behaviour. This has even been established in the American Court system where it has been recognized that alternate personalities are responsible enough to either testify or be sentenced for their actions. I wonder if your son would find this fact of interest? Being in an alternate state does not excuse the behaviour of that alternate, not even in a court of law. It might give him pause to consider using this as a ploy IF that is what he's been doing.

so true...

[Cammy]

Just a thought...is Vampire boy doing any blood-letting rituals? This is not considered safe medical practice in terms of blood borne diseases like hepatitis. It may give you legal cause to have your son situated with a new room mate, if you think that will be helpful. I know that some vampire rituals just involve absorbing the energy of another (a host), but more extreme followers are actually into ingesting blood. Usually, in higher cult circles, hosts are scrupulously tested for blood borne disease, but I doubt that Bat Boy has even made this consideration since I suspect that he's just doing a bit of delusional role playing. Anyway, it was just a thought in case you needed some legal fuel for any possible future action you may want to request on your son's behalf.

[MakersDozn]

Hi all,

Agreeing with Igraine about the legal side of things.

Putting on our admin hat for a moment....just a friendly reminder that the material in this thread may be considered triggering, and so we recommend using a spoiler, as per the community guidelines:

http://www.mosaicminds.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=281

"Spoiling"
In posts that are likely to be triggering, we ask you to put a brief description of what type of triggering material is contained in the remainder of the post, then use the spoiler function to present the material. In the linear format, this gives everyone a chance to avoid the material if the topic is something that is too hard for them to read right then.

We do not require you to spoil individual words in your posts. Some words are "auto spoiled" by our posting scripts, which replaces the vowels in the word with an asterisk. This keeps us out of the search engines specifically looking for those terms.

Thanks,

MDs, MM Admin

[The People]

Welcome to MM. Other people probably told you that it is fine for you to be here but I will just agree. It must be difficult to watch your son go through this. I hope that you don't mind my saying this. It is his place to figure out who hurt him if he does not know already. That probably won't stop you from playing mental chinese checkers but all of the people I met here had to find their own answers. For me I still question my own memories all of these years later.

As for all of the diagnoses many of us here have been through that as well. And I never had DDNOS but it is often used as a working name until things are confirmed by a psychiatrist or whatever. or the clients themselves.

Good luck to you and your son. It is a hard road but he is a lot younger than many of us here werre when the proper dx was found. I was 29 and pretty much dxd myself after some stuff brough a few of us forward. That may not make much sense yet; or ever. Take what you need and leave the rest. And asking questions is allowed here. People may not have the answer that fits for your situation but it is freeing for people to know that there are no rules regarding that. People can choose not to answer but that happens for many different reasons. Best to ask the questions generally than just to ask a specific person. Again, best of luck.

[Cammy]

(03-17-2013, 08:58 PM)MakersDozn Wrote: Hi all,

Agreeing with Igraine about the legal side of things.

Putting on our admin hat for a moment....just a friendly reminder that the material in this thread may be considered triggering, and so we recommend using a spoiler, as per the community guidelines:

http://www.mosaicminds.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=281

"Spoiling"
In posts that are likely to be triggering, we ask you to put a brief description of what type of triggering material is contained in the remainder of the post, then use the spoiler function to present the material. In the linear format, this gives everyone a chance to avoid the material if the topic is something that is too hard for them to read right then.

We do not require you to spoil individual words in your posts. Some words are "auto spoiled" by our posting scripts, which replaces the vowels in the word with an asterisk. This keeps us out of the search engines specifically looking for those terms.

Thanks,

MDs, MM Admin

So sorry MM...didn't realize or think...won't happen again.

[nats]

(03-19-2013, 09:17 PM)Igraine Wrote: So sorry MM...didn't realize or think...won't happen again.

no worries Igraine, we just like to be as inclusive as possible here on MM and some members are sensitive to particular words.

unrelated - we love that dog in your avatar - daughter used to watch the show all the time, with the funny lady and horrible man - but can't remember the dog's name!

[MakersDozn]

(03-21-2013, 05:19 AM)nats Wrote:

(03-19-2013, 09:17 PM)Igraine Wrote: So sorry MM...didn't realize or think...won't happen again.

no worries Igraine, we just like to be as inclusive as possible here on MM and some members are sensitive to particular words.

unrelated - we love that dog in your avatar - daughter used to watch the show all the time, with the funny lady and horrible man - but can't remember the dog's name!

Igraine, we love your avatar too (we have several inside who love dogs). And as nats said, don't worry that you didn't think to use a spoiler. What's important is that you know now.

MDs