Questioning Our Diagnosis

[Shadows]

We are wondering if we are all making it up. We want to be making it all up. We don't want to have DID. And what if we are just being dramatic and exaggerating and we are actually normal and there isn't anything wrong with us?

We just had a bunch of success in our career, financial and otherwise. We should be happy but instead we are in chaos. When things are bad at least we believe that we are a multiple. But success like this makes us assume that everything must be fine because everything looks fine from the outside.

Trying to hold it together. When the insiders are told they aren't real scary things start to happen.

[mosaic]

questioning the diagnosis is pretty normal, imo. we remember questioning it all the time... we still question it sometimes, especially since the others are so quiet now. i wonder if i made it all up. but i feel them from time to time and i remember experiences where it was clear i was dissociating.

having success in your career is wonderful. it shows how resilient you all are. and it also shows how good you are at partitioning things, which i believe can be helpful. if all the chaos you felt inside infected your work, you would probably struggle to have success in your career. we suggest rather than thinking the success means you're making stuff up, look at it as a sign of your resilience, and celebrate your strength!

as you said, when the insiders are told they aren't real, scary things start to happen. so try to accept that they are real AND you can have success in the outside world. the two concepts are not mutually exclusive.

[The People]

When this place was a lot busier we had a diverse number of people with regards to careers. Everything from people who couldn't work at all to people with PHds. Many did well at work.It was their personal lives that were in chaos.

We had to stop working but once upon a time we were very good at what we did. An it involved working in the public service field. Why this worked was because few alters, especially children, were not allowed to show up at work, Occasionally they did and things would mess up but they never stayed around to deal with clients.

Maybe that is what happens for you? Only one or a few go to work. Most of our alters have very specific job. For example we have one person who simply cleans. W have not seen her in a long, long time which is very annoying. :/

[nats]

lol, if only our cleaner would show up regularly! agreed that it largely depends how your system compartmentalizes tasks.

[Shadows]

I know that being fragmented is what allows me to work. I know that. If I were in charge I wouldn't be able to get anything done but there is someone who is more capable and more social and less anxious than me. She does all the working.

I know that being a multiple is what has allowed me to do all of this. But I also don't want to believe it and I don't want to have DID and I don't want this all to be true. And it seems like maybe if I'm successful then I could be making it all up? Exaggerating? I think I want this to be true.

[The People]

Yes but wishing just doesn't make it so unfortunately. I hope you reach the point where you can recognize how DID maybe saved your life or stopped you from going down a dark road. Darker road.

[nats]

acceptance... acceptance is most important.

wishing doesn't make it so and often that's a good thing (what we wish for is often not what's best for us, even if it seems brilliant at the time).

acceptance and moving forward are what T is mostly about.

[Shadows]

I just wanted to say thank you for your responses. We are trying to practice acceptance but finding it so very hard. We are lucky to have a therapist that believes us, but no one else knows, which is part of what makes us so doubtful that it is real.

[nats]

acceptance is very hard, but keep working on it. hang in there and you will start to see progress!

[just peachy]

HI THE PEOPLE THIS JUST MIGHT BE THE ANSWER I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR IN MY LIFE ...PLEASE OH PLEASE WILL YOU TEACH ALL MY ALTERS HOW TO CLEAN THE HOUSE ALL THE TIME NOT JUST ONE TIME ..I AM NOT SURE WHY BUT I HAVE TAUGHT THEM ALL MY LIFE TO CLEAN THE HOUSE AND WASH THE DISHES .. AND FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER .THEY JUST DONT GRASP THE CONCEPT ..DO YOU THINK THEY MIGHT HAVE A LEARNING DISABILITY...ITS STRANGE I NOTICED THAT IT HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON ALL OF THEM ..I MERELY JUST MAKE THE SUGGESTION TO THEM .AND I TURN AND THEIR GONE ..ALL OF THEM NOW MAYBE LIKE DOROTHY I WILL GIVE IT A TRY AND SAY THERES NO PLACE LIKE HOME ...DARN IT DIDNT WORK THERE LIKE WHAT WHATS THIS LADY TALKING ABOUT ...HA HA JUST PEACHY

[nats]

oh how we wish that the person who likes to clean would come out at least once a week on a Friday to deal with the house!!! sadly, haven't managed that yet