Faking D.I.D.

[Cammy]

My therapist told me that through the decades that she has been working with trauma and D.I.D. patients, every so often she comes upon individuals who visit her trying to fake D.I.D. I asked her why on earth anyone would want to do such a thing, and then I suggested that either they think it might be a 'fashionable' disorder to have, it also might be a way in which they think they can get out of being responsible for some of their actions, or they simply are looking for attention.  She told me that all the above have been true with the various individuals she has dealt with. 

The real tell is how eager they are to be diagnosed with D.I.D. I remember how I refused to accept my diagnosis and how it took me a full two years to finally accept that I was a multiple. She notes that most multiples generally hide their multiplicity from the world, and focus on appearing as normal and stable as possible in order to blend into the sea of mono-minds. Not so with the fakers - they are literally 'aching' to be diagnosed so that they can announce their multiplicity to anyone who will listen. Amazing. Truly, if they had to live in the mind of a multiple, I doubt that they would find it very comfortable, and once they found out the amount and type of stigma that this disorder carries, the novelty would quickly wear off. 

Until i had this conversation with my T, it never occurred to me that someone would actually want to be classified as having a dissociative disorder. I suppose, however, that there will always be those who think that if there is some practical or social use for brandishing a mental illness, there will always be people ready to claim they have just about anything. I firmly believe that if such an individual showed up in a room full of multiples and began to engage any of them in conversation, they would almost certainly have their cover blown within minutes. 

Just goes to show that it takes all kinds. Of course, anyone making these type of claims to a therapist for whatever reason is at least in the right place to get help, because they definitely have some kind of issue that most likely needs addressing, but it's not likely to be anything as chic as they imagine D.I.D. to be. If they manage to persist in their ruse, I suspect that the first time someone insists on trying to perform an exorcism on them, or their employer attempts to dump them as an employee, or their friends stop calling, or their doctor asks that they find another family physician, what first seemed to them to be deliciously novel will suddenly become bitterly noxious, and the whole misguided notion will be dropped quite quickly.

Just when I thought I had heard everything. 

[The People]

I one knew a woman who had 'depression' placed on her medic alert bracelet. When I asked why she looked at me like I had 3 heads. I still don't know why. I have learned to share small bits of us and will joke about some things but it is not a badge of honour. That I have survived it yes. Well, perhaps proud that the condition helped me to survive but it is not like saying " I lost 10 pounds this month" or ""I have double jointed thumbs!" Only one of these is true.

[MakersDozn]

Agreed. But let's also keep in mind that there are any number of (real) multiples who have been through a parade of misdiagnoses, or have spent many years not knowing why they are way the are. If someone suggests that they may be multiple, or if they suspect it, the person may actually seek the diagnosis to confirm what's really been going on, and to stop feeling as if they are in limbo.

MDs

[FreyasSpirit]

We have been thinking about this post for several days now and we keep seeing parallels between this and trans care. In the 70s, the best practices for trans healthcare involved a therapist putting people through a hazing ritual of a 1 year "real life experience" for the purpose of determining whether the person was actually trans. This is a traumatizing experience for many, but of course if you showed any signs of anxiety from the ongoing trauma at therapy, the therapist could say that was a sign you were not ready yet or not actually trans. The first therapist we saw for gender in 2011 wanted to put us through this hazing ritual despite decades of the standards of care slowly moving beyond that. She explicitly told us she thought it was her job to determine whether we were lying to her. Our self discovery and coming out process went wonderfully, but for someone who does a lot of questioning whether they are trans, comes out to others who respond with "maybe you aren't really trans", has parents trying to deny they are trans, having a therapist who does things like this just makes the process even more traumatizing.

We can't help but wonder whether your therapist is doing this same thing to some people. People who are struggling to determine their identity and having it questioned from all sides, going to a therapist to try to get some validation, and having the therapist implicitly or explicitly saying that part of their identity is not real.

There were periods of our life where we felt we did not have much space and wanted to create space and as a result, were very vocal about being trans. Had this been in the 70s, we could easily imagine a therapist saying that anyone who is really trans would want to transition as quietly as possible and hide their trans status from the world as best as possible and that anyone who wanted to be openly trans was faking being trans and just wanted attention.

We are sure there are some people trying to fake DID, but knowing the history of trans healthcare, it is difficult not to imagine your therapist causing harm by placing people with DID into the "trying to fake DID" bin.

[rainbows]

Wow.
That sounds really inappropriate for a T to say that to a Client seeing them for DID don't you think ?
And just as inappropriate, we are thinkin, to have a T say they need to wait a year to see if a Client
is Lying (! ? ! )
INSENSITIVE MUCH ?
Just sayin...
from rainbows

[nats]

agreeing with FreyasSpirit. Ts are trained professionals but they're not mind-readers. there are all different kinds of multiples in this world and Ts may or may not be able to recognise them. personally, if someone wants to 'fake' DID then good luck to them. it's like 'faking' being gay - what kind of fallout would we actually need to worry about?

[mosaic]

i worry all the time that i must be faking it. especially since everyone has gone quiet now. i must have just made it up, right?

[rainbows]

O Mosaic, we are so sorry that yous worry abt this a lot.
It is a troubling thot.
We are thinkin that anyone who worries abt faking DID is Definitely not faking it.
Field of Blue Flowers for yous.
from rainbows

[MakersDozn]

Agreeing with FreyasSpirit and nats.

Those who do fake a condition do a huge disservice to those who are genuinely going through what they profess to be going through. We need our health professionals to give us the benefit of the doubt. Time has a way of exposing the rare few who are truly "faking it," as well as those who are sincere but misguided.

MDs

[Cammy]

Thank you all for your wonderful thoughtful replies. I just love you people so much for your frankness and intelligence, and especially for your genuine replies. Thank you all again.

[Gim]

I know this is an older thread. However, I am somewhat new to this site. My therapist sent it to me earlier in the week. I am glad she did.

I agree with everything that has been said in the responses and original post. I have had dx for little over 18 months and after decade and half of therapy with the wrong therapist(S) and therapy.

I still struggle with coming to terms with this diagnosis. I still feel like I am fake. I feel like this is just a bad nightmare. Somedays are worse than others. Somedays there is a very small level of acceptance. Our therapist has shared that when acceptance can come healing will get easier. I trust she is right and I am trying like crazy to get to that point.

I am glad you posted this Igraine. It is something that is often on my mind.
Thank you.

[The People]

Gim I doubt if there are many people here who have not fought their diagnosis (dx) prior to coming to terms with it. Even years later it still pops up for me. What if I am faking? What if I am just crazy and attention seeking? It does get easier but questioning is normal. And it is a good thing. Accepting everything that everyone tells you is not healthy. We did that as kids because it was how we survived. But now we are adults. We are allowed to ask questions. We may not always like the answers and we may disagree. Also allowed. Have been at this for many years and just a few weeks ago we were struck with fear. What if it didn't really happen?

[rainbows]

You know what ?
We still think sometimes that maybe nothing ever really bad happened to us and we are just Crazy.
Born Crazy.
Maybe we will always have these thots occasionally.
We wonder why.
We think you ARE a Hero The People.
from rainbows

[BlackeBird]

I definitely fought it. It was somewhere between a year and two years before I would even consider it, and I tried to fire my therapist twice. We laugh about that now, but at the time I was super resistant.

I remember 4 years or so later I had a family therapy session with my parents and sister to talk about this with them (my parents weren't my main abusers - they were just always drunk or stoned and didn't protect me). They kind of acted like they believed me at the time, and then my mom went out and found this book on Factitious Personality Disorder (where people fake mental illness of one kind or another) and told me this was what I really had.

You know what though? I wish my mom was right. Because then I could just choose to stop "faking" and live a normal life. <sigh>

Kate